Levels Performance Comic Strips - Page 13

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

191 Results for Levels Performance

View 121 - 130 results for levels performance comic strips. Discover the best "Levels Performance" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 1999's comic on:


Tags #exceeded expectations, #top rating, #aims, #harpoon

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice sits in the boss' office. The boss says, "Alice, your performance exceeded all expectations this year." The boss says, "But I'm not giving you a top rating because I want you to have something to shoot for." The boss says, "It's always good to have something to shoot for." Alice walks away. Alice says, "Stay here while I get my harpoon."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 1999's comic on:


Tags #new bonus plan, #peak perfromance, #bonus, #goods mine, #car won't start

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss, Asok, Dilbert and wally sit at a conference table. The boss says, "Introducing the new bonus plan." ASok raises his hand and says, "Yes!!! I'm already working at peak performance, so that bonus is as good as mine!" Phil appears behind asok and says, "Asok, Mr. Reality wanted to visit you, but his car won't start. I'm Phil."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 1999's comic on:


Tags #meet with vendor, #plan, #executives, #reason, #complete waste, #perfromance review

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss and Dilbert are in a meeting. The boss says, "Meet with our vendor and come up with a plan. I'll do the same with their executives." Dilbert says, "Can you see any reason why MY meeting might be a complete waste of time?" The boss says, "Sure, lots of them, but I'm planning to spring those on you during your performance review."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 1999's comic on:


Tags #slipping again, #most severe, #disciplinary action, #watch eat, #monster

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally sits in the boss' office. The boss says, "Wally. your performance is slipping again." The boss says, "That calls for my most severe disciplinary action." The boss begins to eat a sandwich. Wally looks horribly shocked, his hair stand on end. Wally shakes. Asok says, "He made you watch him eat?" Dilber raises his fist and says, "Monster!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 1999's comic on:


Tags #can't control, #based on perfromance, #not a team player

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally are sitting at a table with notes and coffee in front of them and sitting opposite them is the boss. Wally says, "...And since our bonuses depend on things we can't control..." Wally continues, "...Can mine be based on the performance of some other company?" Dilbert and Wally are walking off and Wally says to Dilbert, "You ask one question and sussenly you're not a team player."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 2000's comic on:


Tags #perfromance review, #no initiative, #fault, #creating atmosphere, #fear and distrust

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert during his performance review, "You didn't show any initiative this year." Dilbert replies, pointing at the Boss, "That's your fault for creating an atmosphere of fear and distrust. You, you, you." The Boss thinks to himself, "Note to self: Increase fear."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 2000's comic on:


Tags #performance review, #weaknesses need improvement, #become invisible, #blurry, #multitasking, #too often

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss asks Dilbert, "Do you have any weaknesses that need improvement?" Dilbert replies, "Sometimes I work so fast that I become invisible." Dilbert goes on to say, "If I seem blurry right now, it's because I'm multi-tasking." The Boss thinks to himself, "Once a year is way too often for this."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 2000's comic on:


Tags #perfromance evaluation, #3% raise, #earn a billion, #steals as much

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "Write a performance evaluation for yourself." The Boss continues, "Shoot for about 3% raise...because that's what you're getting." Dilbert's computer states, "Dilbert's inventions will earn a billion dollars. But we think he steals almost as much."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 2000's comic on:


Tags #beatings, #coworkers, #improve moral, #performance review, #team player, #beatings deserved

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice is sitting in front of the bosses desk. The boss says, "Lastly, what have you done to improve the morale of your co-workers?" Alice says, "I didn't give them the beatings they so richly deserved." The boss, writing, says, "I'll shorten that to 'team player'?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 2000's comic on:


Tags #perfromance review, #say its good, #rub in face, #expectations

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks The Boss, "Is that what you wanted?" The Boss answers, "I'm not saying." The Boss says to Dilbert, "If I tell you it's good, you'll rub it in my face at your performance review." Dilbert says, "I'm sorry." The Boss says, "See how you are?"