Lose Respect Comic Strips - Page 13

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

154 Results for Lose Respect

View 121 - 130 results for lose respect comic strips. Discover the best "Lose Respect" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #excitement, #flattery, #respect, #companys success

View Transcript

Transcript

Customer Meeting CEO: The secret of our company's success is that we hire good people. Dilbert: What? Are you saying I'm good? I've never heard a compliment at work. What is that feeling inside me? Is it the thing called self-esteem? Customer: Awkward. CEO: Just ignore him. Dilbert: Behold my goodness!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #exercise & fitness, #fear, #obesity, #insanity workout video, #sixty pounds, #one day, #sweat, #water weight, #obsession

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Weren't you obese yesterday? Dilbert: I got the "Insanity" workout video. Wally: What kind of exercise makes you lose sixty pounds in one day? Dilbert: I didn't exercise. All I did was watch it. Shaun T: And that was the easy part...

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #executives, #leadership, #acceptable behavior, #alight goals, #company objectives, #deal directly, #conflict, #maintain positive attitude, #impressive

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Who's up for some leadership? Watch me define acceptable behavior, align your goals with company objectives, prioritize respect, deal directly with conflict, maintain a positive attitude, and pretend to care! Wally: That would be impressive. CEO: Settle down, Bilbo.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers & peripherals, #cruelty, #tech supprt, #highly trained engineer, #electrical engineer, #most proabable, #reinstalled software, #rebooted, #default, #request

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: This is tech support. How may I help you? Dilbert: Before we start, I need to tell you that I'm a highly trained electrical engineer. I have already eliminated all of the most probable causes of my issue. I have reinstalled the software and I have rebooted several times. So please, if you have any respect for humanity, do not start this call by insisting that I reboot again. Can you do that? Can you not ask me to reboot as your first suggestion? Dogbert: Try rebooting. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Dogbert: I kinds love my job.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #respect, #prototype, #economical, #mental illness, #level conscious

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Your prototype will never economical. Dilbert: Certainty about the future is a sign of mental illness. CEO: Try to be more level-conscious. Dilbert: Yes, Your Highness.

Planning To Lose

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Planning To Lose - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #failure, #insulting, #planning, #business plan, #plan for failure, #losers, #angry, #same page

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: If our business plan fails, do we have a plan for that? Boss: Only losers plan for failure. Dilbert: I think we're on the same page, but for some reason you're angry about it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #dishonest, #dishonesty, #honest, #honesty, #lying, #reverse psychology, #trick, #trickery, #noteworthy, #hide evil, #verbal assault, #easiest lie, #set up

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: To be perfectly honest... Dilbert: Wait! Why do you need to say you're being honest in this particular case? You're implying that you've lied to me so often in the past that this one instance of honesty is noteworthy. That is tantamount to admitting you have no respect for me as a human being. And you don't even have the decency to hide your evil in a competent fashion! Do you think I'm such an idiot that I wouldn't notice your verbal assault on my intelligence? Okay, let's hear the one honest thing you have ever told me. Go. Boss: This is going to be the easiest lie I've ever told.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers, #customer service, #frustration, #installing drivers, #software, #tech support, #technical support, #technology, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's Tech Support. Dilbert: The error message says my copy of Windows is not genuine. Dogbert" I'll walk you through a series of steps that won't work. Dilbert: Wait... what? Dogbert: After seventeen attempts that involve rebooting, you will lose hope. At some point you will give up and buy a new computer just to be done with it all. We'll start by uninstalling all of your drivers and reinstalling. Dilbert: Can I skip all of the useless steps and just buy a new computer? Dogbert: Sure, but you don't need to be a jerk about it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #weight, #dieting, #willpower, #denial, #circular logic, #eating, #health, #happiness, #weight loss, #obesity, #psychology, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I invented a device that can help people lose weight. Boss: I wouldn't need that because I have willpower. Dilbert: Then why are you overweight? Boss: This is temporary. Dilbert: You've looked exactly the same for years. Boss: I can lose this weight any time I want. Dilbert: So... are you saying you choose to be less healthy than you could be? Boss: I'm saying I'd rather be happy than healthy. Dilbert: Are you happy? Boss: No, because I'm hungry. Dilbert: And eating will make you happy? Boss: Well, I usually eat until I'm sick.

Deserve Is For Losers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Deserve Is For Losers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deserve, #loser, #sympathy, #Advice

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I didn't get the promotion I deserved. Alice: Deserve is a loser word used by losers when they lose. Tina: Whose side are you on? Alice: The winning side. Was that unclear?