Lost Five Pounds Comic Strips - Page 13

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364 Results for Lost Five Pounds

View 121 - 130 results for lost five pounds comic strips. Discover the best "Lost Five Pounds" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #invention, #lost, #invisible

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Dilbert sits at his desk with his arms folded. Dogbert approaches and asks, "How's your new 'stealth' cloaking invention coming along?" Dilbert walks away looking angry. Dogbert asks, "Can't find it, huh?" Dilbert replies, "Shaddup."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #neans, #scrabble, #n

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table playing Scrabble. Dogbert arranges his letters and says, "That spells 'neans.' Five points for me." Dilbert says, "'Neans' is NOT a word, Dogbert." Dogbert replies, "I know, but I need to get rid of some n's." Dilbert says, "The n's don't justify the 'neans.'" Dogbert says, "I just wanted to hear you say that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #therapist, #looks, #moth, #mother, #disguise, #sweater, #ears

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Therapist: ...so it's clear that your fear of moths derives from you insecurity about your looks. Dilbert: Really? Therapist: I'm sure you're aware that those big floppy ears of yours make your head look like a winged insect in flight. Now, is it possible that your mother was a giant moth in disguise? Dilbert: Well, I lost a sweater once; maybe she ate it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #camping, #bugs, #radio, #garage

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Dogbert sits on a pillow listening to the radio. Dilbert asks, "Hey, Dogbert, you want to go camping this weekend?" Dogbert replies, "Why don't we just sleep in the garage, eat bugs and not take showers." Dilbert puts his hands on his hips and says, "That is COMPLETELY different from camping, for reasons which will come to me." Dogbert asks, "Because we might not get lost?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dieting & weight control, #Dilbert, #grocery store, #grape, #weight, #happy

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Dilbert pushes a shopping cart through a grocery store. A clerk says, "Hold it right there, fella!" Dilbert turns around and says, "Uh-oh . . . You must have seen me eat that grape in aisle 'B.'" The clerk responds, "I just want to make sure you pay for it." Dilbert lies on the scale at the cash register. The clerk says, "Looks like 192 pounds. What were you before you came in?" Dilbert replies, "Happy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lab rat, #macaroni, #cheese, #good, #host, #sinister, #paranoia

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A lab rat says to a scientist, "Doc, we have to talk." The rat continues, "Every day you feed me over a hundred pounds of macaroni and cheese . . . At first I thought you were just being a good host." The rat continues, "But lately I've been thinking it could be something far more sinister." The professor writes in his notebook, "Macaroni and cheese causes paranoia."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #glum, #plastic, #surgeon, #face, #dog

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Dogbert says to a man walking toward him on the sidewalk, "Hey, mister, why are you so glum?" The man replies, "I've lost face at my job . . ." Dogbert says, "You'll get over it." The man says, "You don't understand . . . I'm a plastic surgeon . . . I actually lost somebody's face." Dogbert says, "Bummer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ratbert, #friend, #Dogbert, #lab, #days, #lab rat, #experiement

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Ratbert walks along thinking, "I should go visit my old friend, Dogbert." Ratbert thinks, "I can get there in five days if I hurry." Ratbert walks through a maze in a lab. He thinks, "Lucky he's only a block away."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #fred, #driving, #school, #quick, #crash course, #educational, #system

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A man stands behind a counter. The sign behind the clerk says, "Fred's Driving School: learn to drive in just five minutes." Dogbert approaches the counter and asks, "How can you teach driving in just five minutes?" The man replies, "It's a crash course."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #stand-up, #comedy, #competition, #straightforward, #freestyle, #mandatory, #categories, #mattresses

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I've decided to enter the stand-up comedy competition next week." Dilbert reads a document and continues, "The rules seem pretty straightforward . . . Five minutes per person . . . The first minute is freestyle comedy." Dilbert continues, "The remaining time is for the mandatory categories: Dan Quayle, flatulence, and the warning labels on mattresses."