New Product Comic Strips - Page 13
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1000 Results for New Product
View 121 - 130 results for new product comic strips. Discover the best "New Product" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday March 28,
2012
Tags raise, married with children, new family, benefit expenses, laser like focus, procreating
Transcript
Wally: Give me a raise or else I'll get married and have children. My new family would increase your benefit expenses and distract me from my laser-like focus on work. Boss: I will gladly pay extra to prevent you from procreating. Wally: Word it any way you like.
Monday April 02,
2012
Tags inventions, new app, ten people created something, population increases, potentail value, enter world, unoriginal ideas, agreeing
Transcript
Dilbert: Every time I have an idea for a new app, I discover that ten people already created something just like it. As the population of the world increases, the potential value of every idea I have approaches zero. Dogbert: So, it's the entire world's fault that you have unoriginal ideas? Dilbert: Why does your agreeing sound like mocking?
Tuesday April 24,
2012
Tags dental work, introducing, kept the thought, naming, new brand, herthlokel
Transcript
CEO: Our new brand will be called "Herthlokel." Tina: Did you come up with that when you were getting dental work? I probably should have kept that thought bottled up inside me.
Sunday May 06,
2012
Tags booth, brochure, exhibitions, exhibitor expenses, expenses, huge crowds, last 11 years, logo sign, new customers, popular booth, spillover, steal chair, trade show, video of incident, youtube
Transcript
Boss: How did we do at the trade show? Dilbert: We had a huge crowd around our booth the entire time. But it was just the spillover from the popular booth next to us. The only person who asked for our brochure used it to kill a spider. Some guy tried to steal our extra chair and then Alice beat him senseless with our logo sign. A video of the incident is already on YouTube. It cost us $200,000 to be an exhibitor and we gained zero new customers. So it was just like the last eleven years. Boss: I feel good about next year!
Thursday May 24,
2012
Tags dueling, announcing stupid, dumbest person, history, moron, new cubicle, education
Transcript
Loud Howard meets Topper Coworker: I did something stupid today!!! Topper: That's nothing. I'm the dumbest person in the history of the universe!!! Together: I'm a moron!!! Dilbert: I need a new cubicle.
Sunday June 03,
2012
Tags laziness, office workers, encouragement, career plans, misjudge, 5 year plan, legacy sytems, retirement, projects, protect heart, plenty of naps, quality of work, pension fund, new career plan
Transcript
Catbert: Wally, you can't float through life with no goals and no ambition. Wally: You misjudge me. I have my entire career planned out. My five-year plan is to avoid any sort of work in which my individual accomplishments can be measured. I'll hoard knowledge about one of our legacy systems so I seem indispensable. When I get to within four years of retirement, I'll only work on projects that have a five-year payback. I'll protect my cardiovascular system by getting plenty of naps and not caring about the quality of my work. Then I'll stick a straw in our pension fund and suck on it for the next forty years. Boss: Did you get him straightened out? Catbert: No, but I got a new career plan for myself.
Saturday November 18,
1989
Tags the boss, Dilbert, names, engineer, new, memory, word association
Transcript
The Boss: Dilbert, let me introduce you to our new engineer. Dilbert: I hate introductions. I always forget their names. Maybe I can use a word association memory trick. Dee Alamo: Hi, I'm Dee Alamo. Dilbert: Darn... Nothing.
Saturday February 10,
1990
Tags Dogbert, tire, company, imply, child's, safety, product, tires, stinkin', extended, Family, dog, animal, animal behavior
Transcript
Dogbert sits in the chair watching television. A voice says, "You've heard the 'other' tire company imply that your child's safety depends on its product . . ." The announcer continues, "That's nothing. If you don't buy OUR tires your whole stinkin' extended family will croak!!!" The announcer continues, "And don't get too attached to the family dog, either. Ha ha ha ha ha!!"
Saturday May 05,
1990
Tags Dilbert, new york, hunt, down, kill, them, water cooler, scared, political dynamic
Transcript
A man says to Dilbert, "Hear about the new guy? He's from NEW YORK." Dilbert gulps and another man yells, "Hear he comes!" Dilbert and the two men run screaming. The new guy stands in front of the water cooler and says, "Well, I suppose I could hunt them down and kill them one by one."
Friday June 22,
1990
Tags batteries, death, Dogbert, dreams, god, himself, new, sense of humor, Dilbert
Transcript
Dilbert enters wearing a bathrobe and shines a flashlight on the chair where Dogbert is sleeping. Dogbert says in his sleep, "I'm coming toward the light . . ." Dogbert continues, "The light . . . It's so pure . . . So perfect . . . It could only be the light of GOD HIMSELF!!" Dilbert says, "No. Just new batteries." Dogbert says, "God has a sense of humor? Of course! It explains everything."


