Office Tour Comic Strips - Page 13
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967 Results for Office Tour
View 121 - 130 results for office tour comic strips. Discover the best "Office Tour" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday April 16,
2019
Old Time Chair
Tags #business, #chair, #office, #office workers, #ergonomics
Transcript
office worker: are you still using an old-time chair? office worker: i sit on a giant rubber ball because of all the ergonomics and stuff. office worker yelling: i'm better than you!!! dilbert: i wondered if there was a summary coming.
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Wednesday April 17,
2019
Falling Off An Ergonomic Chair
Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #ergonomic ball chair
Transcript
office worker: i fell off my ergonomic ball chair and broke my back. dilbert: i guess you'll be using a normal chair from now on. office worker yelling: i'm not a quitter! office worker on floor: maybe i'll give quitting a chance.
Friday April 19,
2019
Complaints About Wally
Tags #business, #complaint, #office, #office workers, #productivity
Transcript
the boss: wally, i received 43 complaints that you have been clipping your toenails in the office. the boss: you have single-handedly destroyed all productivity on the floor. wally: in my defense, it takes two hands if you count the one holding the toe.
Thursday May 02,
2019
Wally Answers Phone In Bathroom
Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #mobile phone
Transcript
carol: every time i try to call your mobile phone, you don't answer. wally: i only answer my phone when i'm in the bathroom. carol: i will never call you again. wally: it's time for office hours.
Sunday May 19,
2019
Tags #business, #email, #office workers, #project manager, #office, #liar, #photoshop
Transcript
office worker: why are you telling everyone my project got canceled? dilbert: i never said anything like that. office worker: you're such a liar. i saw your email to ted. dilbert: if i show you that email right now, and it says nothing about your project... will you admit you were wrong and humbly apologize to me? office worker: i don't think i can commit to that. dilbert: well, anyway, here it is, and you can plainly see you were wrong. office worker: this looks photo-shopped. dilbert: i don't see a winning path for me here.
Friday May 24,
2019
Counting Morons
Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #moron
Transcript
office worker, dilbert and the boss at conference table. office worker: dilbert and i disagree on how to fix the bug. dilbert: for context, one of us is a moron, and one of us is always right. the boss: i'm confused because there are three of us here. dilbert: i forgot one moron.
Tuesday June 04,
2019
Dogbert's Service Human
Tags #business, #magazines, #office, #office workers, #service, #ipad
Transcript
dogbert to dilbert: this is my service human. office worker on leash. dogbert: whenever i feel angry, i slap him with a rolled-up magazine to help me relax. service human: no one reads magazines anymore. dogbert: can i borrow your iPad?
Sunday June 30,
2019
Beg And Pay Store
Tags #business, #office, #buying, #selling, #begging, #internet
Transcript
dogbert: i'm opening a beg-and-pay store. dilbert: what will you be selling? dogbert: selling? dogbert: you are way behind the times. dogbert: stores don't sell things anymore. dogbert: selling would require good customer service and lots of stock on hand. dogbert: if you want that sort of thing, use the internet. dogbert: i just want a place where people can go and beg me to sell them stuff that isn't in stock. office worker: can you help me find this hat in my size? dogbert: beg!!!
Sunday July 14,
2019
Finding A Scapegoat
Tags #business, #office, #project, #ceo, #scapegaot, #climate change
Transcript
the boss: we'll need a scapegoat to blame for our failure on this project. dilbert: no one will believe it wasn't our fault. the boss: are you kidding? the boss: people will believe anything. the boss: we just have to be the first to frame the situation. dilbert: i suppose we could make our lie sound credible. the boss: that's overkill. dilbert: we don't need to sound credible? the boss: not even a little. the boss is in ceo's office. the boss: our project failed because of climate change. ceo: that sounds right.
Sunday July 21,
2019
Hallucinations At Meetings
Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #server, #hallucinate, #network
Transcript
in conference room. dilbert: i recommend we upgrade one of our servers over the weekend. office workers: so, just to be clear, you want to replace our entire network in two days? dilbert: um...no. i want to replace one defective server. office worker: we can't replace our entire network in two days! that is ridiculous! dilbert: i don't know what is happening right now. dilbert: it's as if they things i say have no impact on what you hallucinate you are hearing. office worker: you think you can replace an entire network in two days, and you think i'm the one who is hallucinating? dilbert: i don't know what to do right now. office worker: your incompetence is confirmed.