Peak Performance Comic Strips - Page 13

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

162 Results for Peak Performance

View 121 - 130 results for peak performance comic strips. Discover the best "Peak Performance" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 2003's comic on:


Tags #produce breakthrough, #meeting, #coach me, #higher perfromance, #no hope for progress, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My project has no progress and no hope for progress. I scheduled a meeting is I can fantasize that it will produce a breakthrough. I recommend that we have a meeting next week so you can fantasize that your'll coach me to higher levels of performance. The Boss: Sounds good.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2003's comic on:


Tags #obliterate connection, #my perfromance, #my rewards, #3d objects

View Transcript

Transcript

The merger will obliterate the connection between my performance and rewards. My arms hang like wet ropes. there is no reason to move again. Dilbert: From 9 - 930 I rotated 3 dimensional objects in my mind. My ears hang like wet ropes.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2004's comic on:


Tags #job application, #increase workload, #performance becomes average, #excel

View Transcript

Transcript

Job Applicant "How do you reward your top performers?" "I keep increasing their work loads until their performances become average." "So, why would anyone try to excel?" "I use only the finest motivational posters."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 2005's comic on:


Tags #20 % staff, #failing perfromance, #required, #muscles, #money hurlage, #metting, #denounce employees, #criticize

View Transcript

Transcript

"The company requires me to give failing performance reviews to 20% of my staff." "There are four of you, so that works out to...80% of a person." "Wally, your calf muscles and ankles are performing well, but the rest of you is monkey hurlage."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 2007's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

I got a text message from our boss. "'Keep up wrk'" "What does that mean?" "You just got your annual performance review."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 2013's comic on:


Tags #suspicion, #high level of trust, #employees, #performance, #scam, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Studies show that companies with a high level of trust in employees also perform the best. Boss: If you ever start performing well, I'll trust you, too. Dilbert: This didn't go the way I hoped. Boss: What kind of scam are you trying to pull?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 2013's comic on:


Tags #deception, #stock market, #hedge fund compnay, #investment fund, #misleading claims, #3 week period, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: The best way to evaluate an investment fund is to look at its misleading claims of past performance. The Dogbert Hedge Fund beat the market average for a three-week period... that one time. Boss: Can you do that again? Dogbert: It depends on what you mean by "that." ----

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 2008's comic on:


Tags #ergonomically correct, #evil director, #human services, #job perfomance, #chairs, #wellness related

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "Our concern for wellness is related to your job performance." Catbert says, "Obviously you won't be getting an ergonomically correct chair any time soon." Catbert says, "And feel free to type as hard as you want."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 2010's comic on:


Tags #test, #product, #fail, #fake, #data

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "We added a new performance test, but learned that the test itself is flawed." The Boss says, "Now our product fails our own tests and our customers are asking to see the test results." Dilbert says, "Do I have permission to fake the test data?" The Boss says, "I didn't even know data can be real."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 2009's comic on:


Tags #layoffs, #fired, #surprised, #mean, #cruel, #reading

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss says, "Ted, business is slow, and I have to let you go." The boss says, "But I already did your performance review so I thought you might benefit from constructive feedback." Ted says, "'You're like a blister on a skunk's colon.'" The boss says, "A tiny one."