Place Comic Strips - Page 13

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

137 Results for Place

View 121 - 130 results for place comic strips. Discover the best "Place" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Self Identifies As A Woman

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Self Identifies As A Woman - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #trans, #transgender, #gimmick

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: I heard that you self-identify as a woman. Wally: No, I don't. Catbert: Well, I need you to do that so the company can be supportive and win some awards for being a great place to work. Dilbert: Because why? Wally: I got my own bathroom.

Naming The Spaceship

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Naming The Spaceship - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #naming, #space, #space flight, #rocket, #engineering, #failure, #death, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: I'm looking for a name for the spaceship that I designed. Dilbert: How about "Death Tube?" Alice: "Space Debris?" Wally: "Final Resting Place?" Ted: I was hoping for something more positive. Voice: We're positive it will explode.

Make It Hard To Uninstall

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Make It Hard To Uninstall - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customer service, #business strategy, #sales, #deception, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Don't focus so much on making the software do what our customers want it to do. Just make it hard for users to uninstall it. Dilbert: Why would they buy it in the first place? Boss: A big part of our strategy involves lying.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #military, #office workers, #survival, #hero

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: This is our new employee, Mark. Mark was a navy SEAL. He fought in three separate conflicts. He once fought off a hundred insurgents and saved a town. Show Mark how we roll at this company. Dilbert: Today I'll be reformatting my PowerPoint deck because someone said the design is not organic. Mark: What's that mean? Dilbert: It doesn't matter. I'll just push some things around and hope the guy who complained doesn't attend the next meeting. Mark: How do you survive this place? Dilbert: I don't like to use the word "hero."

Moth Man Keeps Popping In

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Moth Man Keeps Popping In - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #talking, #frustration, #workload, #annoyance

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I can't get any work done because the storytelling mothman keeps popping in to my cubicle uninvited. Why did you hire a storytelling mothman in the first place? Was it not obvious this would happen? Boss: Everyone's a genius in hindsight.

Employees Who Don't Want Money

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Employees Who Don't Want Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #motivation, #money, #optimism, #ambition

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I don't want employees who are motivated by money. I want true believers who are trying to make the world a better place. Wally: Those people sound crazy. Dilbert: Can you warn us if you see one?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #assumption, #arguing, #logic, #argument

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: You said the software would be finished by today. Dilbert: I said it might be finished by today. Man: Why did you say it might be finished if you knew it wouldn't? Dilbert: I didn't know it wouldn't be finished. Man: Now you're flip-flopping all over the place. Dilbert: You're conflating your own false memories with my actions. Man: That's exactly what liars say. Dogbert: How was work? Dilbert: Totally normal. Unfortunately.

Best Places To Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Best Places To Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #employment, #irony, #lying, #managers & supervisors, #office

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're trying to get on "best places to work" list. If you agree to lie on the survey, maybe we can attract some good employees to make this a best place to work. Dilbert: What? Boss: Keep your eye on the prize.

Dogbert Starts A Podcast

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Starts A Podcast - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #podcast

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i decided to start my own podcast. dogbert: i'm crafting my content to appeal to dumb people because that's the biggest market. dilbert: how will that make the world a better place? dogbert: based on your question, you'd enjoy my podcast.

Beg And Pay Store

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Beg And Pay Store - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #buying, #selling, #begging, #internet

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i'm opening a beg-and-pay store. dilbert: what will you be selling? dogbert: selling? dogbert: you are way behind the times. dogbert: stores don't sell things anymore. dogbert: selling would require good customer service and lots of stock on hand. dogbert: if you want that sort of thing, use the internet. dogbert: i just want a place where people can go and beg me to sell them stuff that isn't in stock. office worker: can you help me find this hat in my size? dogbert: beg!!!