Plan Ruined Comic Strips - Page 13

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View 121 - 130 results for plan ruined comic strips. Discover the best "Plan Ruined" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project plan, #stupidity, #leaping off page, #simple, #won't work

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Dilbert and Wally refuse to support my project plan. Will you take a look at it? "GAAA!!! The stupidity is leaping off the page and burrowing into my brain!!!" "Does anyone around here known how to say a simple 'This won't work'?" gurgle

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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #project plan, #won't work, #problem solver

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Your engineers think my project plan won't work. "I'll assign Wally to your project. He's a perfect fit." "Because he's a problem solver?" "Because he won't work either."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #presidential candiditae, #funny haired one, #social policies, #exact opposite, #tax plan, #bad plan, #make out, #like intelligent men, #she lied

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Dilbert asks Tina, "Which presidential candidates do you like?" Tina replies scratching her head, "I strongly favor the one with the funny hair. I forgot his name." Dilbert says, "His social policies are the exact opposite of your views." Tina answers, "Really?" Tina says to Dilbert, "Well, I like his tax plan." Dilbert replies, "Every credible economist thinks it's a bad plan." Tina answers, "Oh." Dilbert says, "It's a good thing we talked before you polluted the system with your vote." Dilbert then asks Tina, "Do you want to make out?" Dilbert arrives at home and explains to Dogbert, "She claimed to like intelligent men, but she lied."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #impractical plan, #philosophy, #hard, #worth doing, #walk around, #hop on one foot, #reasoning capabilities

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Dilbert says to the Boss, "This plan is impractical." The Boss says to Dilbert, "My philosophy is that if it isn't hard, it isn't worth doing." Dilbert responds, "That's easy to say." Dilbert continues, "So according to your philosophy, you shouldn't have said it." Dilbert then says to the Boss, "And it's easy to walk around. Maybe you should hop on one foot." Dilbert continues, "Or would it be better to recant your absurd philosophy..." Dilbert says to the Boss, "And bow before superior reasoning capabilities?" The Boss leaves Dilbert hopping one one foot.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #asbestos, #ceiling, #no worries, #disturbed, #plan to be disturbed

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The Boss: The facilities people tell me there's asbestos in the ceiling. They say you don't need to worry about it unless it gets disturbed. They plan to disturb it today.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #career plan, #daughter, #trophy wife, #blind guy, #visual, #performing arts

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The Boss: Alice, This is my daughter. Her career plan is to become a trophy wife for a blind guy. Daughter: And by that he means he's not happy that Im majoring in visual and performing arts. Alice: Im having a real hard time choosing sides on this one.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #capitalism, #electronic mail, #colorful opions, #email, #advertising plan, #discoverable record, #describing advertising, #pinocchio doing backstroke

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Boss: Please stop using email to express your colorful opinions of our marketing campaign. We don't need a discoverable record of you describing our advertising plan as "Pinocchio doing the backstroke in Satan's septic tank." Remember that capitalism without deniability is the same as poverty. Dilbert: Eh?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office buildings, #cubicle workplace, #open floor plan, #research, #pattern, #randomize evil, #science

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Boss: We're thinking of moving from a cubicle workplace to an open floor plan. Dilbert: Is that because you did some research that discovered that the open floor plan is the only thing worse than what we have now? Boss: They figured out the pattern. Catbert: I told you we should randomize our evil!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #90 day performance plan, #low ambitions

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Boss: Ted, I'm putting you on a ninety-day performance improvement play. Ted: Yes!!! I've always dreamed of making it onto the performance improvement plan! Boss: It's not as good as it sounds. Ted: With all due respect, you don't know how low my ambitions are.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #improvement plan, #90 day, #individual honor, #valuable service, #polite, #thanks, #business

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Ted: Guess who made it onto the generic ninety-day improvement plan. I don't think of it as an individual honor. I think of it as doing a valuable service for the team. Dilbert: Should we thank him? Wally: Are we polite now?