Rat Hammer Comic Strips - Page 13
128 Results for Rat Hammer
View 121 - 128 results for rat hammer comic strips. Discover the best "Rat Hammer" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share March 07, 2008's comic on:
Ratbert: You'd be happier if you renounced your addiction to the internet and lived for the moment. Dilbert: Are you referring to the moment when there's a rat on my bed giving me bad advice? RatBert: How about now?" Dilbert: Perfect. Don't chew on the wi-fi signal booster.
Share October 17, 2009's comic on:
Ted the Drama queen Ted says, "I can't attend the meeting Tuesday because Barry thinks I didn't return his flash drive." Ted says, "I'm afraid of him because he's a liar and a drunk, and I heard he killed a cab driver." Ted says, "I'd wear a disguise, but prosthetic adhesives give me hives." Alice thinks, "Must...control...jack...hammer." buddabuddabudda
Share August 14, 2007's comic on:
Dogbert: "Ratbert, I want you to be my vice presidential running mate." "Your job is to be so unpopular that no one will want to assassinate me." Ratbert: "I can do that!" Dilbert: "Seriously. Stop campaigning on my shoe." grrr!!!
Share August 06, 2006's comic on:
"I'm like the story of the auto mechanic." "A woman has her car towed into the shop. The mechanic opens the hood and takes a look." "After about ten seconds he takes a hammer and taps the engine. It starts right up." "The mechanic says, 'That will be $100, please.'" Zzzzz "The woman says, '$100??? All you did was tap the engine!'" "The mechanic says, 'It's $90 for knowing where to tap and $10 for the tap.'" zzzzz TAP! "20 years ago I wouldn't have known which one of you to tap."
Share January 09, 2014's comic on:
Wally: I want the health benefits of hugging without the hassle of a relationship. This rat is like a patch that increases my ocytocin levels. Rat: I thought we were in love. Wally: That's your oxytocin talking.
Share April 03, 2016's comic on:
Carol: My teenager wants to pierce his ear. Should I let him? Dilbert: Sure. It's only a tiny hole and it heals. Carol: Good point. Narrator: Next day. Carol: Now he wants a small tattoo. Dilbert: Well, if it doesn't show... Narrator: Next week. Carol: Now he wants to grow a human ear on his back, the way scientists did with that rat. Dilbert: As long as he can cover it with a shirt when he gets a job, I see no problem. You have to let him live his own life. Narrator: One week later. Carol: He joined ISIS. Dilbert: I forgot to mention that I'm no good at giving advice.
Share February 20, 2018's comic on:
Dilbert: Is it too late to rethink our new marketing slogan? When we say, "We're Not A Bunch Of Morons," it kinds sounds to my ears as if we are. Boss: But it says we're not. Dilbert: And you're not a rat-faced waste of oxygen. Boss: Thank you.
Share May 14, 2018's comic on:
Boss: I have to warn you-- I have a fever and I'm tripping on cold medicine. Alice: Thank you for coming to work and infecting all of us, you selfish, addle-brained plague rat. Boss: I was going for "courageous." Dilbert: Do Wally first, so I can watch him spasm.