Reduce Wear And Tear Comic Strips - Page 13
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207 Results for Reduce Wear And Tear
View 121 - 130 results for reduce wear and tear comic strips. Discover the best "Reduce Wear And Tear" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday November 25,
2002
Tags #headphones in offcie, #humming, #wishing luck, #inconsiderate, #drumming fingers
Transcript
Wally has headphones in his hand. He says to Dilbert, "From now on, I plan to wear headphones in the office." Wally puts them over his ears and continues, "I'll be drumming my fingers and humming all day, I might even whistle." Dilbert says, "Inconsiderate #%*!$" Wally says, "I can't hear you, but I assume you're wishing me luck."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday March 27,
2003
Tags #actively isleads, #hypocrite, #marketing, #table, #talk to furniture, #tell people, #you mislead cutsomers, #business
Transcript
Dogbert is standing on a desk, still in his magician's hat. Dilbert says, "You have to stop telling people that you can talk to furniture. It's not right." Dogbert replies, "You work for a company that actively misleads customers. How's that different?" Dilbert says, "We call it marketing, and we don't wear hats." Dogbert responds, "The table says you're a hypocrite."
Friday January 23,
2004
Tags #profits down, #sales department, #warhouse, #book
Transcript
The boss: "Profits are down, so we fired the sales department to reduce costs." "This strategy heavily depends on people driving to our warehouse and begging for our products." "Do you think I should write a book?" Dilbert: "I'd try reading one first."
Saturday January 31,
2004
Tags #risk, #pr plan, #karma, #extra fee, #infinite fabric, #britney spear, #hairstly, #back hair
Transcript
"Dogbert does PR." "There's some risk that the PR plan will cause you bad kharma." "Ooh." "For an extra fee, I can do some PR work aimed at the infinite fabric of the universe to innoculate you." "And I think I can get Britney Spears to wear your hairstyle." "Can you get her to grow her hair on her back, too?"
Wednesday February 11,
2004
Tags #new wireless hassock prodcut, #sales people, #work in teams, #wear e;ectroshock, #close the deal
Transcript
The Boss: "We haven't sold a single unit of our new wireless hassock product." "Our plan is to make the sales people work in teams and take turns wearing electroshock pants." "Now close the deal, Cliffy, or it's payback time." "BUY IT!!! BUY IT!!!"
Saturday March 27,
2004
Tags #evil director, #human resources, #been excessed, #yoga move, #rageful comments, #hope for a hug, #business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources "Your position has been excessed, or as I prefer to say..." "I will tear the flesh from your bones!" "Phew! I love that yoga move." "There is like, no hope for a hug, right?"
Tuesday June 08,
2004
Tags #alpha and omega, #fleer, #flout, #gibe, #indispensable greatness, #jeer, #mock, #no pants, #scoff, #sneer, #technical problem, #pantless prima donna
Transcript
"The prima donna" "Behold my indispensable greatness! No technical problem can thwart me!" "I wear no pants, as proof that I am above the rules. I am the alpha and the omega!" "Would you like to see a scoff, jeer, gibe, mock, sneer, fleer or flout?" "Fleer, I guess."
Thursday July 08,
2004
Tags #more time, #no shaving, #all forms of hygiene, #unwashed telecommunting, #clown shoes, #long toe nails
Transcript
"I save so much time by not shaving that Im considering giving up all forms of hygiene." "I'd phase into it by having a few unwashed telecommuting days per week." "And if you wear clown shoes, you never need to clip your toenails." "I should be writing this down."
Friday August 27,
2004
Tags #evil director, #himan resources, #cheaper, #employee wellness program, #sick days, #incentives, #highly paid workers, #more fun
Transcript
"Catbert: Evil director of human resources" "I can't decide what's cheaper..." "...An employee wellness program to reduce sick days or incentivizing the older, highly paid workers to die." "Maybe you could use math to figure it out." "When I said cheaper, I meant more fun."
Saturday March 19,
2005
Tags #forecast, #predcit, #pants so high, #kill self with belt, #statue erected, #honor of blet, #stupid towns people
Transcript
The Boss: "Alice, I need your forecast and I need it right now." Alice: "I predict that someday you'll wear your pants so high that you'll choke yourself to death with your belt." "And the towns-people will erect a statue to honor your belt." The Boss: "Stupid towns-people."