Report Comic Strips - Page 13

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

166 Results for Report

View 121 - 130 results for report comic strips. Discover the best "Report" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 2004's comic on:


Tags #take risks, #employees afraid, #train them, #stitch goals, #punishing for failure, #raise morale, #stopped complaints

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: "According to this report, our employees are afraid to take risks." The Boss: "We can train them to take risks by giving them stretch goals and punishing them for failing!" Catbert: "We did that to raise morale." The Boss: "It stopped all the complaining, didn't it?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 02, 2004's comic on:


Tags #aspect manager, #morale, #effective, #genius, #change of leadership

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "I've been named the aspect manager of moral. Effective today, you no longer report to me." Yippeeee! Woo hooo! Yes! CEO: "How did you improve the morale so quickly?" The Boss: "I'm a genius?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 11, 2005's comic on:


Tags #trends are positive, #crushing debt, #moronic management, #aging product line

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina writes the Annual Report All trends are positive. Footnote 5: Unless you consider our crushing debt, moronic management, and aging product line. "What font is this? It's so tiny." "Enron Beelzebub."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 2006's comic on:


Tags #suggestions, #audience, #readers, #resist perl pressure, #unfunny comic, #connect to network, #email, #note from author

View Transcript

Transcript

Note from the author "Approximately one gazillion people have suggested I draw a comic based on the following idea." "As you will see, this idea is not funny. But I give it to you anyway because I can't resist peer pressure." Unfunny Comic If you can't connect to the network, send a trouble report by e-mail. "Happy?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 2006's comic on:


Tags #despair, #employment, #freedom, #jobs, #office, #office workers, #suicide

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: I used to be a photographer, wild and unsupervised. I tasted the sweet nectar of freedom. Carol: Fill out your time report in 15-minute increments so we always know what you're doing. Attempted self-strangulation is code 39. If you succeed, it's 40.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 10, 2006's comic on:


Tags #less prodcutive, #automatic promotion, #hiring, #work like idiot, #look like idiot, #pointy haired alice

View Transcript

Transcript

"Alice, I need you to be less productive." "I'll get an automatic promotion if I can justify hiring one more direct report." "If I'm going to work like an idiot, I might as well look like one."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2006's comic on:


Tags #trigger automatic promotion, #be that employee, #part of team, #not special

View Transcript

Transcript

I need to have one more direct report and it will trigger an automatic promotion for me. "Your job is to be that employee." "How's it feel to be part of the team?" "Not as special as I'd hoped."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2007's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

You wrote last year's date on this report. Ha ha! Swift. "I enjoy pointing out your mistakes because it makes me feel better about myself." "I wrote this last year." "This will go faster if you say you didn't."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 2007's comic on:


Tags #absurd aasignments, #cartoonist, #comic embarrasing, #cubicle, #evaluate technology, #fire him, #no economical applaication, #new job

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: We have a report of a cartoonist in Cubicle 45950. His comics might embarrass the company. "We can't fire him because it would look bad. You must give him absurd assignments until he quits." The Boss: "Your new job is to evaluate technology that obviously has no economical application." "Woo hoo!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 2012's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #bullying co workers, #friendly suggestions, #looks like bullying, #schedule time, #waste time

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: I got a report that you've been bullying co-workers. Dilbert: That's dumb. I make friendly suggestions about how people could waste less of my time and it looks like bullying. Catbert: Let's schedule a time to talk more about this. Dilbert: Or-- just a friendly suggestion-- you could not waste my freakin' time.