Ten Billion Dollars Comic Strips - Page 13

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

390 Results for Ten Billion Dollars

View 121 - 130 results for ten billion dollars comic strips. Discover the best "Ten Billion Dollars" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags projects budget, ten percent, no thinking, picke dnumber, cutting hours worked, 36 hours, affect result

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: I have to cut your project's budget by ten percent. Dilbert: "Ten percent??" dilebrt: "That's the sort of round number you would pick if you did no thinking whatsoever." The boss: "Anything can be cut by ten percent without affecting the result." Dilbert: "Cool! I'm cutting back to 36 hours per week!"

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags liberty, calculating, how eich, willing to date, happily married, four trillion dollars

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I took the liberty of calculating how rich you'd have to be... "Before I'd be willing to date you. The number is four trillion dollars." "You're happily married." "That's all factored in."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags buy advertsising, gullible world, 2 billion readers, three readers

View Transcript

Transcript

Would you like to buy advertising in my new magazine called 'Gullible World'? "We have between one and two billion readers!" "Wow!" "I figured out how to make three readers sound like a lot."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags elbonian, factory, million dollars, competition, office, rebel attack

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Rebels have threatened to attack our Elbonian factory unless we give them a million dollars. The Boss: "That's outrageous! Tell them their competition offered to not attack us for half that price." Negotiations begin Elbonian: "That wouldn't even cover our costs of not attacking!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, questioning, bought start up, million dollars, diet coke, wine

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: We bought a start-up just so we could get the engineers, including you. Do something that's worth a million dollars. I want to see what that looks like. Coworker: You don't sound entirely sincere. Alice: Can you turn my Diet Coke into wine?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags improve reputation, million dollars, tramps, money to needy, dnation

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I want to improve our reputation in the community by donating money to the needy." The Boss says, "Find me a photogenic hobo who could use a million dollars." Dilbert says, "I'm looking for a hobo who could use a million dollars." A man says, "Sorry, we're tramps."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags company sent, local community, authorized, million dollars, fight for it, hobos, alley way

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "My company sent me to give money to a hobo. It's our way of helping the local community." Dilbert says, "I'm authorized to give a million dollars to one of you." A hobo says, "How do you decide which one?" Dilbert says, "Maybe you could fight for it." The other hobo says, "Say 'go.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags worked around clock, ten programmers, establish new baseline, tragic death march, stretch golas, stupid

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "I worked around the clock and finished a project that would normally require ten programmers." Asok says, "Um... did I just establish a new baseline expectation that will turn my job into a tragic death march?" The Boss says, "It's time to set some stretch goals." Asok says, "STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags elbonia, inflation rate, billion percent, potato, philmsk, bardley

View Transcript

Transcript

The news says, "The inflation rate in Elbonia climbed to a billion percent." An Elbonian says, "Quickly hand me the potato and I'll tell my cousin in Phlimsk to let go of the other end of my money." Another Elbonian says, "Make it snappy." The first Elbonian says, "Bradley! I have the potato!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags albanian inflation, billion percent, fetid water, hyper inflation

View Transcript

Transcript

Elbonian inflation reaches a billion percent, daily An Elbonian says, "Is this enough for a small?" $ Fetid water! Another Elbonian says, "A minute ago, yes. Now it costs a hundred times more." The first Elbonian says, "Problem solved."