Test For Dugs Comic Strips - Page 13

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View 121 - 130 results for test for dugs comic strips. Discover the best "Test For Dugs" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interview, #job, #hanging, #ridiculous, #humiliation, #business

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Dogbert says, "In your first round of interviews we tested your reaction to humiliation and small arms fire." Dogbert says, "In round two I will test your ability to keep company secrets." Ratbert says, "When are you going to tell him this is a courtesy interview?" Dilbert says, "What?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #presentation, #misdirection, #confused, #business

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Director of Marketecture Director of Marketecture says, "It is better to seem good than to be good." Being Good (overrated) Director of Marketecture says, "A misleading benchmark test can accomplish in minutes what years of good engineering can never do." Alice says, "Is it our maturity that makes that concept sound okay?" Dilbert says, "I hope so."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustrated, #angry, #stupidity

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The boss says, "Get us some risk management software." Dilbert says, "What can risk management software tell you that common sense and experience can't?" The boss says, "Data." Dilbert says, "Stop failin the turing test!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #game, #money, #broke, #correcting, #sitting, #business

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Dilbert says, "Welcome to another round of 'If we had money.' I'll go first." Dilbert says, "If we had money, we could design and test new products." Asok says, "We could go to training." Dilbert says, "You forgot to say, 'If we had money'!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #testing, #meeting, #bosses, #ceo, #pay, #explosion, #head, #greed, #business

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "I can't tell if my pay is excessive enough." Dogbert says, "So I created a lab to test the reaction of hobos to my different pay scenarios." Wally says, "It's your turn to find the next hobo."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #new server, #corrupt operating system, #bad server, #recover data, #reinstall, #redeploy it, #blindingly obvious, #alternative is chaos, #chaos as good, #business

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The Boss says, "Build a new server to replace the one with the corrupt operating system." Dilbert says, "That's what I'm doing right now." The Boss says, "Recover the data from the bad server and put it on the new one." Dilbert says, "That's the whole point." The Boss says, "Then see if you can reinstall the operating system on the old one and redeploy it." Dilbert says, "Do you have any instructions that are not blindingly obvious?" The Boss says, "This is called managing. The alternative is chaos." Dilbert says, "How did you just make chaos sound like a good thing?" The Boss says, "You should test the new server." Dilbert says, "Seriously, can we try the chaos thing?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #presentation, #powerpoint, #ghost, #ignore, #read, #run, #boo, #injury, #bandage, #hit person

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Dilbert says, "The status of my project is that apparently I died and became a ghost." Dilbert says, "I don?t remember dying, but the evidence of my untimely demise is clear." Dilbert says, "In the past week, no one has returned my phone calls or replied to my emails." Dilbert says, "When I try to print a document, I get nothing but error messages." Dilbert says, "Now all of you are looking at your phones and reading materials as if no one is speaking to you." Dilbert says, "I will now test my ghost theory by running through a living person." Dilbert says, "BOOOO!!!" Dilbert says, "Good news. I'm alive but unworthy of attention." Dogbert says, "I'm trying to watch a show."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #typo in budget, #2 things, #can't buy, #hardware, #software, #boss, #offcie, #engineering

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The Boss: "I made a typo in my annual budget request, but don't worry." "There are only two things you can't buy for the test lab this year." "Hardware and software."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ask the intern, #died, #moon shuttle, #sample of dna, #jar, #reincarnate to clone, #jar missing, #needed for candy

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The Boss: "I am sad to report that Asok the intern died during a test of our moon shuttle prototype." "Before he left, he put a sample of his DNA in a jar. His plan is to reincarnate into his own clone." "Where's the jar with Asok's DNA?" Carol: "I needed a second candy jar."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mordac, #preventer of information services, #network changes, #on vacation, #3 weeks, #russian submarine, #arctic circle, #blank screen, #coincidence

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Mordac, The preventer of information services Mordac: "I made some changes to the network that I alone understand." "I didn't have time to test it, but if there is a problem, I'll be on vacation for three weeks in a Russian submarine below the Arctic circle." The Boss: "My screen just went blank." Mordac: "Let's chalk that up to coincidence."