Top Rating Comic Strips - Page 13
173 Results for Top Rating
View 121 - 130 results for top rating comic strips. Discover the best "Top Rating" comics from Dilbert.com.
"If you recommend my company's product to your board, there might be a little something for you later." "Before you decide, look at this DVD titled, 'Is bribery right for you?'" "The narrator might refer to you by name when she dances."
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources. Catbert: "Don't rate any employees "excellent" because then they'd deserve raises." "Don't give any bad ratings either because it would reflect poorly on your ability to hire and motivate people." The boss: "How will I make the useless people feel bad if I'm rating them "good"?" Catbert: "Try using this scowl."
The Boss: "Wally, I'm rating you "good" but not because you are." "Company policy says I have to fire anyone rated lower than good, and the hiring freeze means it would shrink my empire." "So you can get paid for doing nothing as long as you don't kill anyone." wally: "I can't promise that."
Topper vs. a Customer "I competed in the Iditarod, an 1,150-mile dogsled race lasting 15 days, over the world's toughest terrain." "That's nothing. I completed the race while pretending to be one of your dogs." "Now I don't want to buy from your company." "That's nothing. Now I plan to burn my company to the ground!"
Dilbert: Let me tell you what kind of day I had at work. There was some confusion about my water purification prototype, and our CEO drank eight ounces of untreated sewage. Dogbert: So... best day ever? Dilbert: It'll be hard to top.
Elbonian 1: Comrades of North Elbonia, our new missile will make our enemies tremble in fear! Elbonian 2: Really? It looks like you tied a bunch of corncobs to a tree stump and put a small pumpkin on top. Elbonian 1: This isn't the missile, and you have insulted my girlfriend.
Ted: Your most sensitive materials should always be sent in an interoffice envelope marked 'top secret. Dilbert: Are you a moron who works in our security department, or an industrial spy who is too lazy to look through lots of envelopes? The boss: Our security guys don't slap that hard or run that fast.
Bob: Im Bob the esquire dinosaur. your exemployee, wally, hired me to step you with a suit for hiring him. Take off your suit is I can slap you with it. Carol: Not now, He's being slapped with a suit and I don't want top ruin the rhythm.
Dilbert: Where can I put this important document so it won't get lost in your desk clutter? Carol: I'll flatten my hair so you can leave it on top of my head. Are you happy? Dilbert: I didn't know happy was an option."
Dilbert: I worked all night to finish the assignments on time. The Boss: Toss it on the pile. Dilbert: I'd feel better if you used a different choice of words." The Boss: Plop it on the top.