Director Of Human Resources Comic Strips - Page 14
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512 Results for Director Of Human Resources
View 131 - 140 results for director of human resources comic strips. Discover the best "Director Of Human Resources" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday June 03,
2015
Ceo Delegates From A Distance With Catbert
Tags punishment, cat, throwing, executives, animals
Transcript
CEO: I love having a football-sized evil director of Human Resources. Now I can delegate from a distance. Catbert: I sense disgruntled employees in that direction! Launch! CEO: You'll have to walk after the first ten feet.
Monday September 07,
2015
Employees Should Be Optimists
Tags optimism, optimist, work ethic, gullible, trick, deception
Transcript
Catbert: The Evil Director of Human Resources. Catbert: Ideally, you want all of your employees to be optimists. Because optimists believe anything you tell them. Boss: If you work all weekend, and our profits double in a month, I'll give you a helicopter. Asok: Deal!
Saturday April 30,
2016
Dilbert Is Antisocial
Tags antisocial, misanthropy, introvert, communication, relationships
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources. Catbert: People are complaining that you're antisocial. Dilbert: I only dislike the people I get to know. Catbert: Then why do you get to know them? Dilbert: It happens by accident when they talk.
Tuesday August 08,
1995
Tags new dress code, insane, fridays are casual, can't wear jeans, feel good, already own, sadistic plot, make people quit
Transcript
Alice stands in front of Catbert's desk. Alice says, "I don't understand your new dress code policy, Mr. Catbert." Catbert replies, "Maybe you're insane." Catbert continues, "It's simple. Fridays are 'casual.' But you can't wear blue jeans because jeans look good and feel good and you already own several pairs." Alice replies angrily, "It's another sadistic human resources plot to make people quit!!" Catbert answers, "Say hello to unsightly panty lines."
Monday February 12,
1996
Tags Catbert, dierctor, eliminate sick days, evil human resources, too much time off, use vacation days, demons of darkness
Transcript
Catbert stands on the desk and thinks, "The employees have too much time off. It must be stopped." Catbert waves his arms and shouts, "I summon the demons of Darkness to assist me!!!" Catbert sits on the monitor while Phil, the demon of Heck, says, ". . . Eliminate sick days. Make them use vacation days when they're ill. Call it a 'time bank.'" Catbert says, "It's playful . . . It's cruel . . . I like it."
Thursday April 02,
1998
Tags improve moral, prescribing anti depressants, unwarranted optimism, dead end job, pills, hr prescribed drugs, employees happiness
Transcript
Alice says to Wally and Dilbert, "Human resources is prescribing powerful antidepressants to improve morale." Alice continues, "The label says it may cause 'unwarranted optimism about you dead-end job.'" Wally, "I gotta get me some of that."
Friday November 26,
2004
Tags cat, Wally, black mail, cat nip, told truth, came clean, animals
Transcript
Alice: "Can you tell me who complained about my off-color e-mail joke? Catbert: "No, no, no." "All conversations with human resources are strictly confidential." "Wally, wally, wally, wally, wally, wally, wally..."