Imprint On Window Screen Comic Strips - Page 14

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

189 Results for Imprint On Window Screen

View 131 - 140 results for imprint on window screen comic strips. Discover the best "Imprint On Window Screen" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conditioning worsening, #easiest rounds, #home early, #layoffs, #storm, #trick

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss types on his computer, "Due to worsening storm conditions, all 'non-essential' personnel may go home early." The Boss reaches in his desk drawer. The Boss peers out the window in his office through his binoculars and thinks to himself, "This will be the earliest round of layoffs ever."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #learning golf, #male dominated golf events, #golf events

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says to Dilbert, "I'm learning to golf." Alice says to Dilbert, "Now I won't be excluded from all the male-dominated golf events." Dilbert says to Wally, who's staring at his computer screen, "Have you been dominating golf events?" Wally says, "Sometimes I can make them miss putts on TV."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #sneaking up on, #computer, #walk past, #muscles cramping, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss peeks in at Dilbert in his cubicle and thinks, "Is that work? I can't see what's on the screen." The Boss raises one leg as if in the middle of walking and thinks, "If he sees me I'll pretend I'm in mid-stride, just passing by." Wally stands behind The Boss and says into his cell phone, "The small font is working." Dilbert says into his telephone, "Good." The Boss grimaces and thinks, "Muscles cramping."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sould, #claim ticket, #demoted, #non-management, #cubicle

View Transcript

Transcript

At a window marked 'Souls', a devil is standing behind the counter. Alice hands him a claim check and says, "I'd like my soul back. Here's my claim ticket." The devil, reading the claim ticket, says, "You've been demoted back to non-management. Very well." Outside Alice's cubicle, a little cloud hovers. Alice points into the cubicle and says to the cloud, "Get back in the cubicle." The cloud, which is Alice's soul, cries, "No-o-o-o!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss friend, #hot in here, #huge cutomer, #sales people, #secretary, #childhood friend

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss approaches Carol's desk and tells her, "Carol, screen all my calls and don't let any salespeople through." Carol answers the phone and a voice says, "Hello, I'm a huge customer or perhaps a childhood friend of your boss." Carol replies, "Give me some flirting and you're in." The voice says, "Is it hot in here or is it just you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #designed product, #gaping hole, #market, #miracle team work, #actual afeatures, #eaten by squirrels

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of a complex model. He points on the screen and says, "I designed a product that could fill a gaping hole in the market." Dilbert continues his presentation, pointing to a new slide with two shapes on it, nothing more. He says, "But thanks to the miracle of teamwork it turned into a product with no actual features." The next slide Dilbert points to shows a picture of himself in bed, laughing. He says, "In Phase three I fantasized about my coworkers being eaten by squirrels."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #brain washed, #hypnosis, #inspire, #lowers of communication, #must work harder, #no good reason, #powers of communication, #better employees

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is sitting at his computer. He thinks to himself, "My powers of communication will inspire them to be better employees." Dilbert points at his computer screen and exclaims, "Gaaa!! He's using his powers of communication against us!" Wally looks on with a panicked expression. Asok walks past Dilbert and Wally's cubicles like a zombie. His arms are out- stretched and his body is stiff. He says, "Must work harder for no good reason." Dilbert and Wally poke their heads from behind their cubicle walls. Dilbert says, "We're too late!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stock market expert, #core holding, #dead cat bounce, #secret economic model, #book sales, #financial markets

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Stock Market Expert. Dogbert is seen through a TV screen. He says, "If your core holding is a falling knife, you can dollar cost average through the dead cat bounce." A man is watching TV on his couch. Dogbert's voice continues, "My secret economic model says you should change your cash allocation from 12.4% to 12.3%." Dogbert and the TV interviewer are seen through a spilt screen on the TV. Dogbert says, "My new book is, 'If you aren't churning, you aren't learning." The interviewer replies, "Don't come back."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #perfect world, #eight months, #incompetence multiplier, #lying weasel factor

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert points to a screen that says, 'Schedule 8 Months." Dilbert says, "In a perfect world, the project would take eight months." Dilbert points to another screen and says, "But based on past projects in this company, I applied a 1.5 incompetence multiplier." Dilbert continues, "And then I applied an L.W.F. of 6.3." The Boss asks, "L.W.F?" Alice answers, "Lying Weasel Factor."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blame insurance carrier, #give reason, #master plan, #parking lot, #reason, #remove all joy, #tell kids, #universe, #no skateboarding

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss and Carol are looking out the window at the parking lot below. The Boss says, "Carol, tell those kids they can't skateboard in our parking lot." Carol responds, "Should I give them a reason, or is this part of your master plan to remove all joy from the universe?" Catbert is standing by a globe. The Boss says, "They know about the plan." Catbert responds, "Fool! I told you to blame our insurance carrier!"