Projects Budget Comic Strips - Page 14

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422 Results for Projects Budget

View 131 - 140 results for projects budget comic strips. Discover the best "Projects Budget" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new product revenue, #future, #slashed bidget, #development budget, #describe future, #doomed

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The addresses a meeting, "The future of the company depends on new product revenue." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question: Is that why you slashed the research and development budget?" The Boss replies, "If you're so smart, let's see you describe our future without using the word 'doomed.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget request, #priority, #highest priority, #mockery, #low priority

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Asok: What is the priority of your budget request? Alice: Highest of the high. Asok: everyone rated their own budget needs "Highest Priority" It is a mockery f the priority system! Asok: Name one thing that everyone would agree is a low priority. Alice: whatever you're doing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #finalized busdget, #budget for last year, #sounds annual

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Man: "At long last, I finalized the budget." Dilbert: "This is the budget for last year." Man: "Stop making it sound annual."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #top down budget, #bottom up budget, #ignorance, #cruelty, #lying, #optimism, #cancel, #wasted hour

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Man: "I averaged the top-down budget with the bottom-up budget." "As you can see, the ignorance and cruelty canceled out the lying and optimism." Alice: "Do you have anything to cancel out feelings of a wasted hour?" Man: "Have you tried despair?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #safety manual, #budget for binders, #deadly binders, #injury, #cheap binders, #find, #budget

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"Wally, I want you to update the safety manual and distribute it." "I don't have much of a budget for binders, so use the cheapest ones you can find." "Hello, this is 'Deadly Binders, Inc.' How may I injure you?" "Gaaa!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget cut, #25% budget cut, #ulcers, #heart disease, #product, #envy, #mysterious pustles

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"If I cut you product development budget by 25%, what could you develop?" "Ulcers, heart disease and maybe mysterious pustules." "How about the product itself?" "It will envy me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cut corners, #bungling, #budget process, #skip design, #testing and manufacturing, #product recall, #shipping, #juggle

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"Project meeting" "I'll have to cut a few corners because of your bungling of the budget process." "If we skip design, prototype, testing and manufacturing, we can afford the product recall." "We'll save on shipping, too." "Is bungle the same as juggle?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deepest budget cuts, #death spiral, #data driven focus

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"The leadership team can't decide where to make the deepest budget cuts." "But don't worry. I offered to bring a systematic, data-driven focus to the process." "A death spiral goes clockwise north of the equator." "Budget cuts" "Research" "Design" "Sales" "Mancom"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hefty bonus, #under budget, #results, #luck, #project delayed

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"I got a hefty bonus for being way under budget." "Effort is no longer rewarded. It's all about results, which means mostly luck." "It's kinda funny; the only reason I was under budget is that my project was delayed." "Gaaaa!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business failures/bankruptcies, #stock market, #innovative pordcuts, #in pipeline, #r&d budget, #firings, #sexy startup, #work smarter, #ironic, #money

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Boss: Our stock is down 49% and we have no innovative products in the pipeline. CEO: Slash the R&D budget, fire 9,000 employees, and buy a sexy start-up company that we can run into the ground. Boss: We did all of that last year. CEO: Did I already tell the employees to work smarter? Boss: Yes. They thought you were being ironic.