Several Options Comic Strips - Page 14

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

146 Results for Several Options

View 131 - 140 results for several options comic strips. Discover the best "Several Options" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 2014's comic on:

Tags #computers & peripherals, #cruelty, #tech supprt, #highly trained engineer, #electrical engineer, #most proabable, #reinstalled software, #rebooted, #default, #request

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: This is tech support. How may I help you? Dilbert: Before we start, I need to tell you that I'm a highly trained electrical engineer. I have already eliminated all of the most probable causes of my issue. I have reinstalled the software and I have rebooted several times. So please, if you have any respect for humanity, do not start this call by insisting that I reboot again. Can you do that? Can you not ask me to reboot as your first suggestion? Dogbert: Try rebooting. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Dogbert: I kinds love my job.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 2015's comic on:

Tags #deciding, #lunch, #choosing, #technology, #options, #yelp, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

How To Eat Lunch. Dilbert: Lunch? Alice: Sure. Where do you want to go? Dilbert: Well, let's see... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... Alice: You're slow. Let me check! Dilbert: No... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... Alice: No... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... Dilbert: No... no... no... no... no... no... Alice: How about this... No, bad review. Dilbert: How about this... No, they have no tables. [45 Minutes Later] Alice: Show me food! Dilbert: Food! Food! Food! Boss: Time to make some billion-dollar decisions. Dilbert: I'm going feral!

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 06, 2015's comic on:

Tags #quality, #work ethic, #shortcut, #laziness, #defective, #awards, #engineer, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Congratulations to everyone who worked on our new laptop design. As I call your name, come up and get your certificate of accomplishment. Alice was in charge of the hardware and won several design awards. Dilbert was in charge of the award-winning software. And... Wally designed the power brick that weighs more than the laptop...and comes apart for no apparent reason. We probably won't show this in our ads. Wally: Hey, I worked on that for almost an hour!

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 11, 2015's comic on:

Tags #manager, #work, #results, #observation, #thinking, #strategy, #proof, #evidence

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I did a huge amount of work this week. I created a matrix that compares all of our technology options. Boss: Can I see this alleged matrix? Wally: It's in my head. I didn't see a need to write it down. Boss: How would I know if you did it right? Wally: You're not an engineer, so you wouldn't know it was right even if you saw it. You tell me to "work smarter" but you get angry when I do. Boss: You're not allowed to do your work in your head! Wally: Which body part do you use?

How To Send The File

Thank you for voting.
How To Send The File - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 2016's comic on:

Tags #brenna thummler, #cloud, #files, #guest artist, #options, #sharing, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: Can you send me the file? Dilbert: Do you want it by email, Dropbox, Google Drive, iCloud Drive, Airdrop, or Creative Cloud? Ted: Surprise me. Dilbert: The surprise will be if you find it.

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 2016's comic on:

Tags #technology, #learning, #education, #tutorial, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I love living in a world where everything I need to know is on the Internet. I'll just hop over to YouTube and learn how to use my new app. Perfect! I can choose from over a hundred different tutorials! It will only take me an hour or so to figure out which one refers to my version of the software. Narrator: One hour later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! These videos are poorly labeled! Narrator: Two hours later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! This guy talks too slowly! Get to the point! Narrator: Three hours later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Why are my menu options different from the tutorial? I hate living in a world where everything I need to know is on the Internet.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 2016's comic on:

Tags #workload, #work ethic, #laziness, #teamwork, #team, #philosophy, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I don't know how you are stress-free when we have so much work to do. Wally: It's all about understanding percentages. No matter how hard you work, you will never finish even two percent of what needs to be done. The financial rewards of doing two percent of your work are identical to doing none. It's also a good idea to volunteer for several projects so everyone thinks you're working on the other ones. Your problem is that you're doing actual work for no good reason. Dilbert: My problem is that I'm doing your work plus my work! Wally: It's only two percent more work, you whiner.

Dilbert Did Not Move The Server Rack

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Did Not Move The Server Rack - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 2017's comic on:

Tags #rumors, #accusation, #lying, #obstinacy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why did you move the server rack? Dilbert: I didn't. Boss: You must be lying because I heard you did. Dilbert: Isn't it more likely you're wrong? Boss: Considering all the options, I like the one where I'm right about everything and you're a stinkin' liar.

Dilbert Might Have Lied

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Might Have Lied - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 2017's comic on:

Tags #rumors, #sources, #journalism, #accusation

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I heard you lied about moving the server rack. Dilbert: It isn't true. Man: I heard it from several sources. Dilbert: Each of them heard it from the same source, who was wrong. Man: With that much smoke, there must be a fire. Dilbert: Yes, but it's coming out of your ears.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 2017's comic on:

Tags #lying, #deception, #secret, #choosing, #choices

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Don't tell Dilbert I told you what he plans to do. Alice: What if he asks me how I found out? Man: You should lie. Alice: You have given me two bad choices. If I don't change my plans based on this new information, I'll have big problems. But if I act on it, Dilbert will ask me how I knew, and that will turn me into a liar. Man: Yes, those are your only options. Alice: Unless... Man: There's no "unless." You have only two options. Just two! Alice: Have you ever seen the view from the roof?