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Catbert: Evil H.R. Director Catbert stands atop Wally's computer monitor and waves a new policy sheet in Wally's face. "Here's the new 'clean desk' policy, Wally." Wally reads from the sheet, "Employees must lick their workplaces clean at the end of each business day." Wally stands in the doorway to the Boss's office. He says, "Do they seriously think we're this spineless and stupid?" The Boss responds, "Ahm nah chanthing it."
Wally says to Alice, who is dressed casually and sitting at her computer, "It's a shame you have to work during your vacation. The same thing happened to me." Alice says, "Really?" Wally explains, "Actually, in my case I went on vacation when I was supposed to be working. But the concept is the same." Wally walks up to Dilbert, his clothing ripped and dishevled and a cup stuck on his face. "Apparently she wasn't looking for empathy," Wally says.
Catbert says to Wally, "The company has no implied contract to keep you employed, Wally." Catbert says, "But we expect total loyalty out of you." Wally says, "I really, really wish you wouldn't do your face-stretching exercises here every morning." Catbert stretches his mouth out wide and thinks, "1-2-3..."
Dilbert sits down with a couple of Elbonians. The first one says, "Don't worry that we'll take any military technology secrets back to North Elbonia." The second guy says, "We signed these little agreements that say we won't." He waves a non-disclosure contract in Dilbert face. Dilbert frowns. The Elbonians laugh and give each other a high-five. Dilbert says, "Moving on..."
The Boss is critiquing something Dilbert wrote. he says, "You'll have to write this in less technical terms for me.." The Boss hands the repport back to Dilbert and says, "Make it even less technical for my boss... even less for our VP.. even less for our EVP.. much less for our CEO." Dilbert is giving a presentation and points to the overhead projection. "...And compared to other technologies, there's a big difference in the mouth area." The image is a simple frowning "smiley" face.
Dilbert and Alice are talking in the hall over a cup of coffee. Bob walks up holding a box of his office supplies and says, "I've been chosen for the industrial espionage program." Bob gets an evil look on his face and says, "The plan is that I quit this job and go work for our competitor. Every week I'll send back secret reports." Alice says, "Bob, this is how we fire dumb people." Bob turns to go and says, "That's why it's the perfect cover."
Alice hold a folder and says, "Here's my report on the hideous treatment of employees in our Elbonian factory." The Boss sits at his desk. Alice holds her hands up to her head and says, "The employees are forced to wear huge clamps on their heads." The Boss looks at the report. At the lunch table in the employee cafeteria, Alice, Wally and Dilbert sit with trays of food and large clamps on their heads. Alice says, "Then I said, 'The employees can't complain because they have no union." Wally says "Swift," and he and Dilbert frown.
Wally, Alice, and Dilbert are meeting. Wally says, "Alice is overdosing on antidepressants." Dilbert says, "We must induce vomiting." Wally holds a piece of paper in front of Alice's face. Wally says, "Look at our mission statement, Alice. The people who wrote it earn ten times your salary." Dilbert comes home disheveled. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "The plan worked perfectly, up to the point where all three of us were having and Alice was punching us."
Dilbert sees a sign that says "Bungee Jump 10 dollars." He thinks, "It's the manly thing to do." Dilbert enters the office and says, "I'd like to expose myself to avoidable danger." A man says, "Sit right down." The man says, "I need to know your weight so I can adjust the bungee cord." The man says, "Be sure you don't under-estimate your weight or else your head will hit the ground like an over-ripe cantaloupe." Dilbert answers, "Seven hundred pounds." The man wraps a bungee cord around Dilbert's body and head. He says, "Count to three and jump." Dilbert and the man stand on a hill. Dilbert says, "I didn't know you could do this on a hill." The man kicks Dilbert. Dilbert lies face-down on the hill. He says, "Today, I am a man." The man says, "For a hundred bucks I'll pull you back."
Alice in her cubicle with frustrated look on her face shaking her computer says, "Stupid software! Won't compile, eh??" Asok the Intern walks past Alice's cubicle as she tosses the computer screen over her cubicle wall. Asok the Intern on floor. Policeman writes on notepad. Dilbert stares down at Asok the Intern. Policeman says to Dilbert, "We call it 'code rage.' I'm seeing a lot of it lately."