2005 Comic Strips - Page 14
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Character
Thursday June 02,
2005
Tags manager sounding voice, promotion to management, no qualifications
Transcript
"Congratulations, Alice. You're one of my two candidates for the promotion to management." "The other candidate has no qualifications except for his manager-sounding voice." "And he doesn't make that face.:
Friday June 03,
2005
Tags freeze n expenses, freeware version, readily available, coffee sipping, noises
Transcript
I couldn't buy the software I need to do my job because of your freeze on expenses. "And our I.S. policy says I can't use the freeware version that is readily available." "So I used the week to develop some new coffee-sipping noises."
Saturday June 04,
2005
Tags holding up wall, new structural engineer, wall fell
Transcript
The boss: what are you doing holding up the wall? Zing that was a good one. Dilbert: Have you met the new structural engineer?
Monday June 06,
2005
Tags beta version, archive option, way you ask, try yelling
Transcript
The Boss: The beta version looks great. Now ask if they'll tss in an archive option for no extra money. Dilbert: "That's a great idea. Or...maybe I could save time by the realizing that they aren't raging morons who enjoy working for free." The boss: "It's all in the way you ask." Dilbert: "I'll try yelling."
Tuesday June 07,
2005
Tags life coach, unmotivated, unorganized, dolt, confusing
Transcript
"I'm dogbert, your life coach. I'm here because you're an unmotivated, drifting, unorganized dolt." "Life coach? I didn't ask for a life coach." "Which part of the "unmotivated, drifting, unorganized dolt" is confusing you?"
Wednesday June 08,
2005
Tags journal, personal growth, write in journal, felt a little
Transcript
Keep a journal of everything you do. That way you'll know where you need help. "Now I am writing in my journal. I am still writing in my journal. Now I am writing about writing in my journal." "Ooh. I think I felt a little personal growth there."
Thursday June 09,
2005
Tags good people quit, wretched, incompetent, lazy
Transcript
wally: "Have you ever noticed all of the good people quit?" Dilbert: "There's no one left her bu wretched, incompetent, lazy miscreants" wally: "A-A-nyhoo."
Friday June 10,
2005
Saturday June 11,
2005
Tags projects budget, ten percent, no thinking, picke dnumber, cutting hours worked, 36 hours, affect result
Transcript
The boss: I have to cut your project's budget by ten percent. Dilbert: "Ten percent??" dilebrt: "That's the sort of round number you would pick if you did no thinking whatsoever." The boss: "Anything can be cut by ten percent without affecting the result." Dilbert: "Cool! I'm cutting back to 36 hours per week!"
Monday June 13,
2005
Tags evil director, office efficency, celebrated, done forevre, feel special
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources In order to improve office efficiency, all birthdays will be celebrated on the same day." "Do you mean one clebration per year, or just once and then we're done forever?" "Just once." "Well, at least I'll feel special once. What day is the celebration?" "Yesterday."

