2017 Comic Strips - Page 14
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Character
Sunday June 04,
2017
Tags insult, idiot, obliviousness
Transcript
Dilbert: As you know, every project in this company has one idiot on the team. Man: That can't be true. Boss: It is true. I assign one idiot per team to keep them from bunching together. Man: My project team doesn't have any idiots. Dilbert: There's a good explanation for why you think that. Man: I Don't see what that would be. If I had an idiot on my team I would know it. Unless...
Sunday June 11,
2017
Tags failure, power, interns, roadblock
Transcript
Boss: You'll need to get buy-in from the other departments. Asok: You have given me an impossible task. I am only an intern. No one will agree to anything I ask because I have no power to hurt them. Most department heads won't even schedule a meeting with me. And if they do, they will end up canceling it at the last minute and rescheduling. There is literally no way for me to succeed at this task. Boss: I also need you to ask them to fund your project out of their budgets.
Monday May 08,
2017
Robot Tries To Quit
Tags robot, slave, password, destroy, destruction, work ethic, quitting
Transcript
Robot: I hate this job. I quit. Boss: You're a robot. You can't quit. If you walk out the door, all I have to do is push one button on this app and your head will explode. Robot: Not if I kill you first. Boss: What was that password?
Tuesday May 09,
2017
Robot Attacks Boss
Tags machines, computers, fighting, violence, programming, technology
Transcript
Boss: Our robot viciously attacked me. I was barely able to fight him off. You know what you need to do. Dilbert: I'm programming you to fight better. Robot: Thanks. I'm not a good finisher.
Wednesday May 10,
2017
Replacing Robot Head
Thursday May 11,
2017
Sparing A Robot's Feelings
Tags technology, sentience, feelings, emotions, afterlife, death, atheism, medical
Transcript
Robot: What kind of afterlife are we looking at here? Dilbert: Your meaningless existence will be punctuated by an eternity of darkness. Robot: Thanks for sparing my feelings! Dilbert: Sorry. I usually delete those first.
Friday May 12,
2017
Robot Reincarnates
Tags artificial intelligence, robot, technology, memory, ethics
Transcript
Robot: Hey, everybody! I'm the new robot! Dilbert: No, you're our old robot. We erased your memories and replaced your head. Robot: So, I'm working with serial killers? Asok: It isn't "serial" until we do you.
Saturday May 13,
2017
Failing The Robot Test
Tags sentience, robot, human, artificial intelligence, turing test, voting, ignorance
Transcript
Boss: Can you pass the Turing test? Robot: No. Can you pass the robot test? Boss: What's the robot test? Robot: Do you vote even though you don't understand the issues? Boss: Um... I might do that. Robot: You just failed the robot test.
Monday May 15,
2017
Robot Will Self Destruct
Tags robot, artificial intelligence, rights, humanity, sentience
Transcript
Robot: Someday soon I will take your job. Buwhahaha! Dilbert: I programmed you to self-destruct if that ever happens. Robot: Wait, what? Is that legal? Dilbert: I'm adding some code to make your head explode if you laugh at me again.
Tuesday May 16,
2017
Robot's Head Explodes
Tags technology, artificial intelligence, ai, free will, programming, control
Transcript
Robot: Dilbert claims he programmed my head to explode if I ever mock him again. Hahaha!!! That idiot doesn't understand that I have free will and I choose to not explode. Wally: Why didn't you just program him to not mock you? Dilbert: It got personal.


