2020 Comic Strips - Page 14

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Noble Bad Data

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Noble Bad Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accurate, bad, business, data, heroic, managers & supervisors, noble, war

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boss's voice coming from monitor: is the data accurate? dilbert at desk looking at boss on video conference: you don't go to war with the data you need. you go to war with the data you have. boss: did you just make it sound noble to use bad data? dilbert: and heroic.

Version 2 Kills

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Version 2 Kills - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, upgrade, software, technology, version, health, issue, nonsense

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wally with face mask giving presentation: according to our newest data, 100% of the people who upgraded to version 2.0 of our software died the same day. wally to boss: but we don't think it means anything because all of them had underlying health issues. boss: how did they all have underlying health issues? wally: version 1.0 had some rough edges too.

No Human Contact

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No Human Contact - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags home, human, contact, self isolation, quarantine, coronavirus, health, oxytocin, lonely

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dilbert at home: i haven't had any human contact for months. dilbert wearing face mask sitting on couch with dogbert: people need physical contact to keep their oxytocin at healthy levels. dogbert: get away from me. dilbert: maybe if we both close our eyes.

One Source Of Stress

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One Source Of Stress - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, work at home, human, contact, stress, co-workers, bored, print, money

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dilbert thinking: i've had no human contact for months. i wasn't expecting to enjoy it so much. my love life was already a barren wasteland. and avoiding my co-workers is always good. i haven't been stressed, tired, or bored in weeks. i only have one remaining source of stress in my life. dilbert sitting on couch with dogbert dogbert: i'm printing money in the basement. dilbert: there it is.

Point At End Of Slide Deck

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Point At End Of Slide Deck  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, coronavirus, slide, deck, Opinion, point, sarcasm, face mask

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co-worker in face mask: what do you think of my slide deck? dilbert in face mask: i reviewed all 26 of your slides, and i can't figure out what your point is. co-worker: i could put the point on slide 27. dilbert: or just give up.

Sciencesplainer New

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Sciencesplainer   New  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sarcasm, business, sciencesplainer, meetings, interrupt, condescending, science

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boss in meeting wearing face mask: i hired a sciencesplainer for our meetings. he'll interrupt us every ten minutes to explain, in a condescending way, how science works. dilbert wearing face mask: why do we need that? boss: it's just something we do.

Sciencesplainer Explains Science New

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Sciencesplainer Explains Science   New - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sciencesplainer, data, report, anecdotal, controlled, study, accurate, face mask

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the sciencesplainer dilbert wearing face mask: we don't have any data yet, but we are hearing good reports. sciencesplainer: those reports are anecdotal. you need a controlled study to be certain. dilbert distressed: literally everyone already knows that. sciencesplainer: sure. but did you know accurate data are better than bad data?

Placebo Effect New

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Placebo Effect   New - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, consultant, science, explain, ancecdotal, evidence, misleading, placebo, effect

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dilbert: why do you keep explaining to me how science works when you know i already know? sciencesplainer: did you know anecdotal evidence can be misleading? dilbert yelling: yes!!! i knew that!!! sciencesplainer: have you ever heard of the placebo effect? dilbert: GAAAA!!!

No Interruptions At Home

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No Interruptions At Home - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, business, working, home, workday, productivity, anger, annoying, bowel, problems

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dilbert sitting on couch with dogbert: i like working from home. i can do eight hours of work in one hour because no one is interrupting me. dogbert yelling: i'm trying to work here! dilbert: did i tell you about my bowel problems? dogbert: go away!

Dilbert Has To Upgrade Server

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Dilbert Has To Upgrade Server - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coronavirus, business, technology, network, upgrade, server, boss, latency, locks, garage, sleep, face mask, work from home

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dilbert wearing face mask and carrying computer bag: i'm going into the office to upgrade a server. according to my boss, reducing network latency is more important than my life. can i depend on you to not change the locks while i'm gone? dogbert: only if you sleep in the garage.