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194 Results for Bid To Run

View 131 - 140 results for bid to run comic strips. Discover the best "Bid To Run" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 2009's comic on:


Tags #presentation, #problem, #scenario, #ridiculous, #stupidity

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Dilbert says, "Our new data center is complete." Dilbert says, "The only wrinkle is that the power company won't give us the kilowatts we need." The boss says, "What are our options?" Dilbert says, "Well, we can run the servers without air conditioning." Dilbert says, "Until they melt into a toxic blob." Dilbert says, "Then we can turn the building into a museum that celebrates poor planning." Dilbert says, "Or we could all quit our jobs and eat bugs to survive." The boss says, "Let's go with the toxic blob, but we need to call it something else." Man says, "Convergence!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2009's comic on:


Tags #asking, #questions, #choices, #ridiculous, #harsh, #mean

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The Boss says, "How did the industry standards meeting go? The boss says, "Did you convince 83 companies to adopt standards that benefit only us while dooming the entire industry in the long run?" The boss says, "Or are you a complete failure?" Dilbert says, "Can I hear those choices again?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 06, 2009's comic on:


Tags #asking, #approval, #bureaucracy, #avoiding, #explaining, #disappearing

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Dilbert says, "Can you approve this change?" Woman says, "I'll have to run it by my corporate office." Woman says, "And we're in merger talks, so they'll need to clear it with our future owners." Woman says, "No one will know who should make the decision or what the right decision is." Dilbert says, "When do you think you'll have an answer?" Woman says, "Sometime between next week and whenever the earth is devoured by a gravitational singularity." Woman says, "Meanwhile I will avoid your calls and e-mails by becoming a vapor." Dilbert says, "You forgot the approval form."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 2009's comic on:


Tags #talking, #retirement, #planning, #drinking, #coffee, #pessimistic

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Retirement planning in a bad economy Wally says, "Retirement planning is all about timing." Wally says, "I'm planning to die from global warming on the same day I run out of money." Wally says, "That's one more advantage of being frail. I figure an hour without sunscreen ought to do the trick."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 2009's comic on:


Tags #lying, #bidders, #cost, #invoice, #bid, #crooked

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Dilbert says, "This invoice is for twice as much as your bid." The Man says, "Duh. You wouldn't have given us the job if we told you how much it was really going to cost." Man says, "If it makes you feel any better, all of the other bidders lied too. We're just better at it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 2009's comic on:


Tags #date, #restaurant, #rude, #email, #hitting on, #interrupting

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Dilbert says, "You've made a number of innacurate statements during the course of this date." Dilbert says, "I don't want to break the romantic mood, so I'll send you an e-mail with links that you can review on your own time." The waiter says, "It sounds like you two are over. WOuld it hurt my tip if I take a run at her?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 2010's comic on:


Tags #informing, #admitting, #laziness, #bragging, #shocked

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Wally says, "We've never worked together so let me tell you how this will go down." Wally says, "You'll expect me to contribute, and you will be disappointed at every turn. In the long run you will do everything yourself." Woman says, "How do you stay employed?" Wally says, "DOn't make me call myself a genius."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #accomplish, #week, #fantasy, #time magazine, #entrepreneurial, #real job, #motion to head, #powerpoint slides, #horror, #real life, #kill, #business

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The Boss says, "Dilbert, what did you accomplish this week?" Dilbert says, "I doubled my sales and made the cover of Time magazine." The Boss says, "What?" Dilbert says, "Oh. Whoops. Sorry." Dilbert says, "For a moment there I confused my entrepreneurial fantasty life with my real job." Dilbert says, "I run a parallel career in my mind. In that world, I'm the founder of a hot start-up."B<R>Dilbert says, "It keeps my brain from fully realizing the horror of my actual career and trying to kill the rest of my body." Dilbert says, "But to answer you original question, this week I made some powerpoint slides that have no particular use." Dilbert says, "GAAA!!! My brain is trying to kill the rest of my body!" The Boss says, "Moving on..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 2010's comic on:


Tags #present, #software engineer, #give, #program, #product, #box, #hand, #receive, #look, #Features, #criticize, #depressed, #first copy

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The Boss says, "As lead software engineer, I give you the first unit of our ten thousand copy production run." Dilbert says, "Wow! I wish we'd designed it with the features listed on the box. That would have been awesome." The Boss says, "What?" Dilbert says, "I'll put this with the other reminders of how my life could have been excellent."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2010's comic on:


Tags #party, #woman, #date, #hold drink, #invent, #shoulder phone, #old man's head, #soup, #bones, #scary, #arm out, #surprised, #run away, #scared, #Dogbert, #trick, #auto-answer, #kiss

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Dilbert says, "It's a shoulder phone shaped like an old man's head. I invented it myself." Phone says, "Let's make soup from her bones, just like the others!" Dilbert says, "I shouldn't have told Dogbert it has auto-answer." Phone says, "Kiss me! Now!"