Big House Comic Strips - Page 14

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

485 Results for Big House

View 131 - 140 results for big house comic strips. Discover the best "Big House" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management fast tracker, #deliver big report, #ceo, #fax, #shredder, #tricked, #punked, #contempt

View Transcript

Transcript

"Hey, Matt. How's our favorite management fast-tracker?" "Great! I've got two minutes to deliver my big report to our CEO. Can you tell me where the fax is?" "Oops, I'm wrong. That's the shredder." "He'll go far in this company." "Bzzzzp."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ratbert, #filberts cubcile, #big eyes, #interested

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert: "I discovered I can look interested in what people say by making my eyes big." "Go ahead - say something. I'm ready." Dilbert: "I'm trying to get some work done here." Ratbert: "Work, you say? Very interesting."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assist me, #cartoonists disclaimer, #cucumber mutants, #disclaimer, #not funny, #quite a pickle, #world domination

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I created you cucumber mutants to assist me in my bid for world domination! Bulletin I interrupt this strip because the whole giant cucumber theme isn't as fun as I thought it would be. lets go directly to the big finish. scott DOGBERT: Then Waldo grabbed the "salad shooter" there were peels everywhere! Dilbert: sounds like quite a pickle.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #classes, #get mba, #big name school, #knowledge, #not prestige, #tonys, #house, #mbas, #babe ratio

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'm going to take classes at night and get an MBA." "I don't need a big-name school. I'm in this for knowledge, not prestige." "How about 'Tony's House of MBA's'?" "The babe ratio is better at 'MBA-O-RAMA'."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #unpaid overtime, #mba class, #working for free, #rub head, #good luck

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'd stay and work some unpaid overtime with you but I'm taking MBA classes." "If YOU took MBA classes you'd understand that working for free is a low NPV." "If you don't mind, before big tests I'd like to rub your head for luck." "It'll cost you a nickel."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #not welcome, #against rules, #eat ratbert, #work not done, #natural enemy, #keyboard, #mouse, #computer, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

"You're not welcome here, Cat. It's against house rules to eat Ratbert." "My work here is not done until I have pounced on my natural enemy." "Who are you, and what are you doing on my keyboard?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pyramid scam, #marketing breakthrough, #new recruit, #amazingly wealthy, #being your own boss, #one thousand dollars, #the world pays, #money, #scam

View Transcript

Transcript

"Remember, it's not a pyramid scam, it's a marketing breakthrough!" "The beauty of it is a new recruit is born every minute." "Are we guaranteed to become amazingly wealthy?" "While being our own boss?" "Yes, unless you're lazy or ethical." "Each person you recruit pays you one thousand dollars. The recruits get their own recruits and charge them TWO thousand, and so on." "Eventually, every person on Earth will be giving you money. And that adds up." "You can't argue with the math." "I feel like we're a big family." "The best part is that every person on Earth will get rich!" "Actually, the last recruit kinda gets it in the shorts."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big tech show, #curly haired guys, #salmon, #spawning opportunites, #vast sea, #indistinct products, #trade show, #facial hair

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm going to the big technology show. Dogbert: what do you do there? Dilbert: I will wade though vast sea of mostly curly haired guys with facials hair and glasses and I will look at thousands of indistinct products, Dilbert: Its like salmon returning to it birthplace. Dogbert: But without the spawning opportunities,

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project report, #thick binder, #foot rest, #annual performance, #appraisel

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "Did you see my project report yet? It's in a big thick binder." The Boss replies, "I'm using it as a footrest." Dilbert arrives at home carrying a briefcase and says to Dogbert, "You never want to hear the words 'footrest' the day before your annual performance appraisal."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #iso 9000 certfication, #create boring, #poorly written document, #big binder, #copies to dept. heads, #dead racoon

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert puts a transparency on an overhead projector and says, "Here's the basic plan for getting our 'ISO 9000' certification." Dilbert points at the diagram and continues, "Each of you will create an insanely boring, poorly written document. I'll combine them into one big honkin' binder." Dilbert points to a picture of a man passing a binder to another man and continues, "I'll send copies to all department heads for comment. They will treat it like a dead raccoon and route it to the first passerby."