Closet For Months Comic Strips - Page 14

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View 131 - 140 results for closet for months comic strips. Discover the best "Closet For Months" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #group project

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Boss: I'd like to thank each member of the product team for the successful launch. Dilbert wrote the software. Alice designed the hardware. And Wally... um... Wally: Attended most of the meetings. Boss: That's all you did? Wally: I also played devil's advocate. Dilbert: You didn't say a word during our meetings for seven months. Wally: That's because you were doing everything right. Boss: Did you really do nothing for seven months? Wally: This is one of those "less is more" situations.

Lots Of Things Happening Behind The Scenes

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Lots Of Things Happening Behind The Scenes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #human resources, #results, #confidentiality, #progress, #business

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Tina: I complained about my boss two months ago. Has Human Resources done anything about it? Catbert: Lots of confidential things are happening behind the scenes. Tina: For example? Catbert: For example, we talked about how much of a whiner you are.

Artificial Deadlines

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Artificial Deadlines - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deadline, #logic, #motivation, #excuses

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Woman: You've been promising me you'd finish the web page for the last six months. Wally: This is your fault for not giving me an artificial deadline. Woman: Okay. I need it by end of day. Wally: And miss my dental appointment??

Purchasing Did Not Order Part

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Purchasing Did Not Order Part - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #delays, #excuses, #laziness, #work ethic, #scapegoat, #deadline, #delay

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Wally: The purchasing department rejected my request for a key system part because of a typo on their form. But they didn't tell me for three months, so now my product launch will be delayed by that much. Boss: But they finally ordered the part? Wally: I call that unknowable.

Unmotivated Staff

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Unmotivated Staff - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #the boss, #wrong, #leadership, #skills

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The Boss: A few months ago, I realized my staff was unmotivated and working on all the wrong things. It took all of my leadership skills to get them motivated again. Catbert: Are they still doing the wrong things? The Boss: Faster than ever.

Working With Old Ned

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Working With Old Ned - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elderly, #men and women, #office workers, #old

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Boss: I need you to work with old Ned on this project. He's a little bit old-fashioned, but don't let that get to you. He retires in six months. Alice: I've been asked to work with you. Ned: Women have jobs now? ? ?

Did Not Know About The Server

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Did Not Know About The Server - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #excuses, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #office workers

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Boss: It's been six months now and you still haven't fixed our server issue. Dilbert: I didn't know we had a server issue. Boss: That's no excuse. Dilbert: Actually, it's kind of a good excuse. Boss: Now you're making excuses for your excuses!

Smart To Wait

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Smart To Wait - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #technology, #proposal

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i approved your technology proposal. dilbert: i made that proposal six months ago. now everything has changed and it no longer makes sense. the boss: well, i guess i was smart to wait. dilbert: the less you do, the better.

How Long It Will Take

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How Long It Will Take  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #assignment, #deadline, #incompetence, #meeting, #co-workers, #months

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boss: can you have it done in a week? dilbert: not if i have to work with other employees. given the galactic incompetence of my co-workers, it would probably take seven to non months. boss: i'll give you two weeks. dilbert: that's how long it will take to set up the first meeting.

Upgrade Schedule

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Upgrade Schedule - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #vendor, #network, #upgrade, #allocating, #technology

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vendor: we should be able to finish the network upgrade in about three months. dilbert: when you bid for the job. you said it would take thirty days. vendor: if we're allocating blame. i'm not the one who was dumb enough to believe me.