Eat Catepillar Comic Strips - Page 14
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Share June 11, 2008's comic on:
Dogbert the Media Trainer Dogbert: Carefully choose your words when talking about the company's future. For example, avoid comparisons to Abe Lincoln at Ford's Theatre, 'Circling the drain,' and anything involving flies."And never, ever refer to the company as any kind of sandwich you wouldn't want to eat." CEO: That's my favorite one!"
Share August 04, 2008's comic on:
Wally says, "Health problems and absenteeism are a huge cost to this business." The Boss says, "So?" Wally says, "So give me a raise, or I'll eat unhealthy food and avoid all forms of exercise." The Boss says, "You already do those things." Wally says, "How could you possibly know that?"
Share August 14, 2008's comic on:
The Boss says, "I don't need to know the details. Just give me the high altitude view." Dilbert says, "From a high altitude we're all a bunch of termites trying to eat the same log." The Boss says, "Maybe drill down a little more." Dilbert says, "The termites hate each other."
Share August 17, 2008's comic on:
The Boss says, "Find out what the users want before your build it." Dilbert says, "Why are you explaining my job to me as if I'm an idiot?" The Boss says, "It's called managing." The Boss says, "I assume you're dumb because you work harder than I do and earn less money." The Boss says, "And my boss would fire me if I just sat in my office and did nothing." The Boss says, "So I wander around and say obvious thing to you idiots until quitting time." The Boss says, "Then I go home and eat until my underpants don't fit." The Boss says, "Thanks for asking."
Share August 28, 2008's comic on:
Company Lawyer Dilbert says, "Can you turn a simple agreement into impenetrable gibberish?" The lawyer says, "Absolutely. I can also leave a sour taste in everyone's mouth and make you want to choke me with my suspenders." The lawyer says, "If you exercise and eat right, you might still be alive when I finish it." Dilbert says, "Good enough."
Share September 19, 2008's comic on:
Tina says, "Wally, can you eat quieter?" Crunch crunch mmmph crunch gulp Tina says, "you sound like an asthmatic rhinoceros rampaging a cracker festival." Mmmph erm crunch crunch Tina says, "GAAA!!! Not the beverage!" Wally says, "Prepare slurper! Boop!"
Share October 18, 2008's comic on:
Dogbert the Philanthropist Dogbert says, "If I give a man a fish, he will eat for one day." Dogbert says, "But if I inspire him by my opulent lifestyle and my squiring of supermodels, he might try harder." Dilbert says, "You can't stop giving." Dogbert says, "It's like a curse."
Share November 02, 2008's comic on:
Carol says, "Where are you going with that fish?" Wally says, "I'm going to microwave it." Carol says, "That will stink up the office and make it impossible for anyone else to enjoy life." Carol says, "Isn't there something else you could eat?" Wally says, "I'm not going to eat it. I just like to microwave things that smell bad." Wally says, "After I stopped caring about my job performance, it was a slippery slope to complete sociopathy." Wally says, "It's a liberating feeling. I can't remember the last time I felt bad." Carol says, "Do you have an extra fish?"
Share December 17, 2008's comic on:
Dilbert: I got reassigned to manage our legacy systems. The dress code is "troll." My cubicle is under the walkway. My side job is scaring vendors. Dogbert: Is that hard? Dilbert: Only the first day. After you eat one vendor, work gets around.
Share January 03, 2009's comic on:
Topper Asok says, "This recession frightens me." Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "During the Crimean war, all I had to eat was the cold stench of death!" Asok says, "You don't seem old enough to?" Topper says, "I use moisturizer!"