Haven't Submitted Paperwork Comic Strips - Page 14
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172 Results for Haven't Submitted Paperwork
View 131 - 140 results for haven't submitted paperwork comic strips. Discover the best "Haven't Submitted Paperwork" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday March 03,
2016
Wally Is Unlikely To Do Favors
Tags #apathy, #assist, #favor, #guest artist, #help, #helpful, #laziness, #john glynn
Transcript
Carol: Wally, will you do me a favor? Wally: It feels unlikely. Carol: You haven't heard it yet. Wally: That matters less than you hope it does.
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Friday June 17,
2016
Needing Vacations
Tags #vacation, #necessity, #career, #insult
Transcript
Man: Do you have any vacations planned? Dilbert: No. I haven't bungled my career so badly that I need to escape from it. Man: I take vacations. Dilbert: I hear you need a lot of them.
Saturday July 30,
2016
Wally And Agile Programming
Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #avoid, #evasion, #acrobatics
Transcript
Boss: I'll ask Wally to write this software. I haven't seen him since he took that agile programming class.
Friday August 26,
2016
The Dogbertium Particle
Tags #science, #accusation, #questioning, #discovery, #accusing
Transcript
Dogbert: I wrote a paper about my discovery of the "Dogbertium Particle" and submitted it for peer review. Luckily, most of my peers are made of pure Dogbertium, which means they are easy to bribe. Dilbert: Bribe? Dogbert: Do you have a problem with that, or are you anti-science?
Sunday October 23,
2016
Tags #email, #communication, #response, #confusion, #honesty, #overshare
Transcript
Man: Did you see my email? Dilbert; Did you mean your two-page document that has about twelve questions for me sprinkled throughout? Man: Yes, that's the one. Why haven't you responded? Dilbert: It's hard to answer that question while being polite. Man: You can be honest. Dilbert: Your email was such a disorganized mess that I assumed everything you do is doomed to fail. I didn't want to waste half a day deciphering it just so I could be on the losing side. With you. Man: Next time, just say you were busy. Dilbert: And I was busy.
Friday November 11,
2016
Nothing Else To Talk About
Tags #personality, #boring, #bored, #conversation, #small talk, #psychology
Transcript
Man: Do you want to know how we would have handled this situation at my old job? Dilbert: No. Dilbert: Nothing would interest me less. Man: My only other topics of conversation are my health problems and TV shows you haven't seen. Dilbert: I stand corrected.
Sunday November 20,
2016
Tags #bureaucracy, #paperwork, #form, #request, #convoluted
Transcript
Dilbert: I need a capital allocation form. Man: Do you have a form to request that form? Dilbert; I need a form to get a form? Man: That's how we keep track of the forms. Dilbert: Okay, give me a form to request a form. Man: Those are online. Dilbert: Where online? Man: I don't know. I only do paper forms. Dilbert: Who can I ask? Man: Don't drag me into this. Dilbert: I demand to talk to your boss. Man: I hope you brought a boss request form.
Friday January 06,
2017
It Sounded Like Feng Shui
Tags #managers, #obliviousness, #distraction, #attention
Transcript
Boss: Why haven't you finished writing the software? Dilbert: Because each of your interruptions took me out of the zone and turned a simple task into a nightmare. Catbert: What did he mean by that? Boss: It sounded like some sort of feng shui.
Monday March 13,
2017
Actual Company Policy
Tags #complaining, #management, #manipulation, #strategy, #vacation, #training, #company policy
Transcript
Boss: I can't approve your vacation days because you haven't completed the mandatory class on fax machine safety. Dilbert: Is that an actual company policy? Boss: I don't know, but it sounds like one. Dilbert: Maybe we should check. Boss: Wow. Is there anything you DON'T complain about?
Tuesday July 25,
2017
Wally's Excuses List
Tags #meeting, #work ethic, #laziness, #excuses, #avoidance, #business
Transcript
Wally: Work got a lot easier after I compiled a list of all my best work-avoidance excuses. Man: Wally, can you attend my project meeting? Wally: Well, let me check. Man: I haven't told you when we're meeting. Wally: That matters less than you think it should.