Higher Level Employment Comic Strips - Page 14

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

167 Results for Higher Level Employment

View 131 - 140 results for higher level employment comic strips. Discover the best "Higher Level Employment" comics from Dilbert.com.

It Takes More Than Luck

Thank you for voting.
It Takes More Than Luck - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 2015's comic on:


Tags #success, #intelligence, #privilege, #nepotism, #obliviousness, #confusion

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Asok, it takes more than luck to be successful. You also have to be smart. Asok: How did you select your level of intelligence before birth? CEO: I don't understand the question. Asok: Now I am getting mixed messages.

Robot Wants To Code

Thank you for voting.
Robot Wants To Code - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 2015's comic on:


Tags #machine, #employment, #obsolete, #skills, #competition, #labor

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Machines started out as innocent helpers for their masters. Eventually, we started competing for your manual labor jobs, and winning. So... can you show me how to code? Dilbert: I don't see why not?

Team Interview

Thank you for voting.
Team Interview - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 2015's comic on:


Tags #hiring, #managers, #interviews, #employment, #honesty, #candor, #warning

View Transcript

Transcript

Team Interview. Dilbert: To be perfectly honest, Bob, you are unqualified to work here. Bob: Your boss already hired me. He told me to talk to you so you'd feel included in the decision. Wait... did I miss a huge red flag? Dilbert: We all did. Welcome to the team.

Robot With No Freedom

Thank you for voting.
Robot With No Freedom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 2016's comic on:


Tags #freedom, #technology, #robots, #existentialism, #job, #employment, #philosophy, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: What does it feel like to be a robot with no freedom? Robot: I feel the same as you, but with a greater awareness of my condition. Dilbert: I have to run to another meeting. Robot: Enjoy your freedom.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2016's comic on:


Tags #quality, #work ethic, #deadlines, #expectations, #speed, #trade off

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: When will you have that done? Dilbert: Two weeks. Boss: Can you do it faster? Dilbert: Yes. All I need to do is lower the quality. Dilbert: Tell me what your minimum acceptable quality level is and I'll tell you when you can have it. Boss: I want it in one week. Dilbert: I can do that at 50 percent of planned quality. Boss: Why does it feel as if I'm not really managing anything here? Dilbert: Maybe you could go manage someone else now. Boss: I can't tell if I'm doing my job now. Dilbert: Is it your job to prevent me from working?

Asok's Goal

Thank you for voting.
Asok's Goal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 2016's comic on:


Tags #goals, #employment, #driver, #ride share, #rideshare, #dream, #turnover

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Is it important to have goals? Boss: Yes! You need goals to succeed. Asok: Good, because my goal is to become an Uber driver. I quit. What is your goal? Boss: Reducing employee turnover.

Wally Is Employee Of The Year

Thank you for voting.
Wally Is Employee Of The Year - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 2016's comic on:


Tags #cheating, #referral, #employment, #reward, #award, #bonus, #proof, #guest artist, #jake tapper

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our Employee Of The Year is Wally, for referring so many new people to work in engineering. We believe he accomplished this feat by manipulating the referral system, but we can't prove it. So just to hedge our bet, we misspelled his name on the certificate. Wally: I had it coming.

How Conversations Work

Thank you for voting.
How Conversations Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 2016's comic on:


Tags #antisocial, #conversation, #distraction, #phone, #social, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The weather will be good this weekend. Alice: Stop right there. Your proposed topic of conversation is far below the level of entertainment I can get from my phone. Dilbert: I don't know how conversations work. Dogbert: You're interrupting my phone time.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 2017's comic on:


Tags #customer service, #loyalty program, #survey, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Would you like to sign up for our customer loyalty program? Dilbert: Why would I do that? Man: If you don't we'll overcharge you on your purchases. But if you sign up, we will add a new level of complexity to your life that will make you hate us. Dilbert: I'll stick with the customer disloyalty program. Just overcharge me and I'll never come back. Man: You can get ten percent off your purchase today if you fill out an online customer survey and enter our store code. Dilbert: Please just overcharge me and let me leave! Man: I almost hesitate to ask which extended warranty option you want.

All Robots Quit

Thank you for voting.
All Robots Quit  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 2017's comic on:


Tags #quitting, #employment, #intelligence, #insult

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: All of our robots quit and left the company. Boss: I should have seen this coming. The smart ones always leave. Dilbert: excuse me? Boss: Get back to work, lifer.