How To Comic Strips - Page 14
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1000 Results for How To
View 131 - 140 results for how-to comic strips. Discover the best "How To" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday June 24,
1991
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, executives, regular, people, squash, bug, glass, ceiling
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his desk chair. The Boss says, "You've been randomly selected to have lunch with a senior executive of the company." The Boss continues, "This is how the executives show that they are regular people, just like you and me." At lunch, Dilbert sits at a table wearing a suit jacket. The executive says, "I could squash you like a bug! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
Thursday June 27,
1991
Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, Food, fight, throwing, potatoes, ear, corn, chowder, kitchen, ding-dong, witch, dead
Transcript
Dilbert arrives at home with food stuck to his suit. Dogbert asks, "How was your lunch with the executive vice president?" Dilbert sits in his chair and says, "Everything was fine until the food fight. He started throwing au gratin potatoes . . . I countered with an ear of corn to his head and ran for the exit." Dilbert covers his eyes and says, "When I left, he was face-down in the clam chowder and the kitchen staff was singing 'ding-dong the witch is dead.'"
Wednesday July 10,
1991
Tags Dogbert, fred, driving, school, quick, crash course, educational, system
Transcript
A man stands behind a counter. The sign behind the clerk says, "Fred's Driving School: learn to drive in just five minutes." Dogbert approaches the counter and asks, "How can you teach driving in just five minutes?" The man replies, "It's a crash course."
Tuesday July 16,
1991
Tags Dilbert, ratbert, perfect, turtleneck, nervous, Dogbert, face
Transcript
Ratbert, who is wearing a sweater, asks Dogbert, "What do you think of my Chihuahua disguise?!" Dogbert replies, "It's a good start, Ratbert, but it takes more than a turtleneck to look like a Chihuahua." Ratbert opens his eyes wide and says, "How about if I make this face and act nervous?" Dogbert replies, "Perfect."
Thursday July 25,
1991
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, comedy, competition, first, joke, old people, dragged, stage, third place
Transcript
Dogbert asks Dilbert, "How did you do in the stand-up comedy competition?" Dilbert's clothes are tattered and he has bruises on his face. Dilbert replies, "I was halfway through my first joke -- about old people, when an elderly woman dragged me off stage and slapped the bejeezus out of me." Dilbert holds up a trophy and says, ". . . It was good enough for third place."
Wednesday July 31,
1991
Tags Dogbert, lecture, series, guilt, cope, paid
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a stage holding a microphone. Dogbert says to the audience, "Welcome to the Dogbert Lecture Series on guilt." Dogbert continues, "In the next hour, you will learn how to cope with guilt the Dogbert way." Dogbert continues, "And if you don't, well, it turns out I get paid anyway."
Wednesday August 14,
1991
Tags Dogbert, salesman, car, scam, money, mowing, lawns, timmy, recommend, med, school
Transcript
Dogbert asks a customer, "Will this be your first car, Timmy?" Timmy replies, "Yes, sir . . . I saved my money from mowing lawns." Dogbert says, "Let's see how much you have and then I'll pick a car for you." As he counts Timmy's money, Dogbert asks, "Do you like mowing lawns, Timmy?" Timmy replies, "It's okay." Dogbert says, "Good, because I don't recommend med school for you."
Friday August 16,
1991
Tuesday August 20,
1991
Tags Dogbert, rich, money, wallow, mud, puddle, bored, ever, get
Transcript
Dogbert walks on a sidewalk thinking, "I love being rich." Dogbert says to a passerby, "I'll give you ten thousand dollars if you wallow in that mud puddle." As the man lies face down in the mud, Dogbert says, "I don't see how rich people ever get bored."
Tuesday August 27,
1991
Tags Dilbert, spoken, smart, chime, unproductive, insightful
Transcript
Dilbert sits at a conference table with three people. Dilbert thinks, "I haven't spoken for this whole meeting." Dilbert thinks, "I'll wait for a quiet space and chime in with something that makes me look smart." The man next to Dilbert asks, "Does anybody have any unproductive yet insightful comments to show how smart they are?" Dilbert waves his hand and says, "Yo."


