Impossible Task Comic Strips - Page 14

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146 Results for Impossible Task

View 131 - 140 results for impossible task comic strips. Discover the best "Impossible Task" comics from Dilbert.com.

Keyboard Tapping

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Keyboard Tapping - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, office, office workers, sleeping, multi-task

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the boss: why do i hear a keyboard tapping every time i'm talking? click, click, click. alice: i have to multi-task when you talk, just to stay awake. the boss: please stop doing that. alice: okay... - zzzzzz-zzzzzz-zzz...

Ai That Creates Comics

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Ai That Creates Comics - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Comic Strip, inventions, sarcasm, technology, creativity

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Dilbert: I invented an A.I. that can create comic strips. Boss: Pffft! That's impossible. No machine will ever match the creative genius of human cartoonists. Dilbert: This one is about a guy who thinks his boss is dumb. Boss: No one wants to read that.

Two Places At Once

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Two Places At Once - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, meeting, time, states, impossible

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dilbert: you committed me to two different meetings at the same time in different states. it is not possible to be in two places at the same time wally: pfft! i could do it boss: even wally could do it

Not Humanly Possible

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Not Humanly Possible - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, office workers, budget, workflow, procedure, impossible, useful

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boss: i can't approve your budget because you didn't follow the seventeen-step workflow procedure. dilbert: it is not humanly possible to follow the company workflow procedure and also accomplish anything useful. boss: would it help if i add a few steps? dilbert: yes, if you have to go back to your office to do it.

Boss Helps

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Boss Helps - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, project, deadline, interruption, business, new, task, priority

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boss: why isn't your project done yet? dilbert: because every time i walk past your office you give me three new tasks and tell men they are my highest priority. boss: i was hoping you didn't know why. dilbert: hire someone dumber next time.

Searching On A Phone

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Searching On A Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, communication, phone, protocol, task, rude, technology, insult, fake

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tina: i have something funny to show you. just give me a minute to find it on my phone. dilbert thinking: what's the protocol in this situation? should i just sit here and stare at her pawing at her phone? i can't talk because she's focused on her task. and it would be rude to walk away. would it be an insult to look at my own phone and mentally check out from this useless interaction? tina: ah! i found it! dilbert: okay, good. tina: wait, that's not the right one. dilbert: is this why people fake their own deaths?

Inefficiency

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Inefficiency - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, inefficient, process, obsolete, market, technology, multidisciplinary, systems, fight, fire

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alice: our internal processes are so inefficient that we can't get products to market before they are obsolete. boss: i'll create a multidisciplinary task force to look into it. alice: you want to use an inefficient system to fix an inefficient system? boss: it's called fighting fire with fire.

Incompetent Employees

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Incompetent Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, sarcasm, business, bureaucratic, employees, incompetent, inefficiency, yin, yang

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catbert: it might my imagination, but it looks as if all of our employees are incompetent. boss: we need to create a tangle of bureaucratic rules that make it impossible for them to get anything done. catbert: you want to use inefficiency to protect us against incompetence? boss: yin and yang.

Disbanding Task Force

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Disbanding Task Force  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, decision, office workers, sarcasm, technology

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Boss: Why did you disband the technology task force? They were critical. CEO: I didn't. I just replaced the people and changed the mission. Boss: That sounds a lot like disbanding it. CEO: Really? I was hoping it didn't.

Two Bad Options

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Two Bad Options - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, business, business ethics, business failures/bankruptcies, hide, managers & supervisors, options, analysis, corporate

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Dilbert: I analyzed our only two options. One option costs too much, and the other option is impossible. Boss: Let's do the impossible one. Dilbert: Perhaps you can explain your reasoning. Boss: According to you, we will fail either way. But if we fail in a slow and inexpensive way, no one will even notice for months. With any luck, we'll have a corporate reorganization that forever hides our gross incompetence. Dilbert: Have you done this before? Boss: Every six months.