Insult People Comic Strips - Page 14
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Share May 31, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert sits across from a man's desk. The man says, "Thanks for your time, Dilbert. It's always good to get the technical perspective." Dilbert says, "Hey, it's lunchtime. Would you like to join me in the cafeteria?" The man replies, "Ooh . . . No, I couldn't do that." The man explains, "I'm on the management track, so I can't be seen eating lunch with you." The man continues, "If I'm seen with an ordinary employee then people will think I'm ordinary." The man continues, "I'd like to eat with the senior executives, but of course they don't want to be seen with me." The man slides under his desk and says, "So I've perfected a method of slipping quietly away at lunch time." Dilbert turns to the reader and says, "The scary part is that someday that man will be my boss."
Share June 01, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert says, "Dogbert, look, I got the first video phone in the city!" Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the desk as Dilbert sets up the video phone. Dilbert says, "Now we wait for somebody else to buy a compatible video phone and call us." Dogbert says, "The amazing thing is that society couldn't advance without people like you." Dilbert says, "I think I saw something."
Share June 03, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk staring at the video phone. Dogbert asks, "Did anybody call on your new video phone yet?" Dilbert replies, "No." Dogbert asks, "Don't you think that the only people who will buy video phones are male techie dweebs like you?" Dogbert continues, "Therefore, wouldn't it be cheaper to buy a mirror?" Dilbert thinks, "It's hell being an early adopter."
Share June 15, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert asks Dogbert, "What did you do to your hair?" Dogbert's hair is styled in a pompadour. Dogbert replies, "It's for my new television show, 'Healing for Dollars.' People send more money if you have this kind of hair." A man and a woman sit on a couch watching Dogbert's tv show. The woman says, "It might be a trick." The man replies, "That's what I thought until I saw his hair." Dogbert says, "Checks or money order."
Share June 16, 1992's comic on:
On his television program, Dogbert stands in front of a curtain and holds a microphone. Dogbert says, "Welcome to my show, 'Healing for Dollars.'" Dogbert continues, "Today I will use my psychic healing power to prevent millions of people from getting pimples on their tongues." A man and a woman sit on a couch sticking their tongues out. As they watch their tongues, the woman says, "Ith working! Get the theckbook!"
Share June 18, 1992's comic on:
The Boss says to Dilbert and a woman, "I'm proud to announce that the company has found yet another way to dehumanize the employees." The Boss continues, "From now on you will wear identification badges at work. This symbolizes that people who look like you are often criminals." The Boss adds, "Oh . . . And the cafeteria is closed. We'll just lay down some alfalfa in the break room."
Share June 23, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I'm going to open a school for people with no common sense." Dilbert asks, "Who would pay to go to a school that teaches something that can't be learned?" Dilbert continues, "Except maybe people with no common sense . . ." Dogbert replies, "Bingo."
Share June 24, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert says to a classroom full of people at desks, "Welcome to Dogbert's School of Common Sense." Dogbert continues, "I've asked you to pay tuition in advance; that way if you're unsatisfied with the school, you'll have the added negotiation leverage of having already paid." As the students hand Dogbert money he says, "And thanks, Alice, for asking if tipping is customary."
Share June 28, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I'm going to start jogging again." Dilbert wears a sweatshirt and sweatpants. He leans down to tie his sneakers and thinks, "Why does everybody tie their laces in the same type of knot?" Dilbert thinks, "From an engineering perspective, there are planety of good alternatives to the standard knot." Dilbert thinks, "This is how innovation begins; one man who refuses to accept the conventional wisdom." Dilbert says, "Ha ha! I'll invent my own knot! A rebellious, audacious knot!" Dilbert pulls the shoelaces and shouts, "Like this and this and this! Ha ha ha!!" Dogbert enters the bedroom and sees Dilbert lying on the floor with his laces wrapped around his body. Dogbert says, "Many people wonder why there haven't been more engineers in the Olympics." Dilbert says, "Call the Boy Scouts."
Share July 01, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert, Dogbert, a captain and several people stand on a snow-covered mountain. Off in the distance is a crashed airplane. A man in a pilot's uniform says, "I've survived several jet crashes this year, so listen to me." The man continues, "The best way to prevent frostbite is to rub Worcestershire sauce on your body and whack yourself repeatedly with a meat tenderizer." As people pour sauce on themselves Dilbert thinks, "I wonder why he had enough of these for everybody?"