Labor Saving Software Comic Strips - Page 14
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"Alice, this year you did the work of four people and made over $10 million for the company." "But according to our web monitoring software, you used company resources to look at a weather web site." "Thief."
V.P. of Engineering "Then I had the idea of saving money by combining our four databases." "Excuse me. That was Alice's idea. You said it was impossible, so she did it on her own time." "Carry on. I'll jump in if I notice any more errors."
"I'll need to know your requirements before I start to design the software." "First of all, what are you trying to accomplish?" "I'm trying to make you design my software." "I mean what are you trying to accomplish with the software?" "I won't know what I can accomplish until you tell me what the software can do." "Try to get this concept through your thick skull: The software can do whatever I design it to do!" "Can you design it to tell you my requirements?"
DilMom "Your security software is out of date..." "Uh-oh." "Would you like to spend the rest of your natural life trying to figure out how to upgrade it?" "Erk!" "Or would you prefer to let hackers steal your identity, drain your bank accounts and destroy your hard drive?" "I need more choices!"
"This week I tried to work, but pop-up messages kept telling me to update my computer's software." "I tried closing the pop-up windows, but they just kept coming back. There were too many of them!" "Did you upgrade your software?" "Great. I see whose side you're on."
"Wally has a laziness disability. If you fire him, I will sue you for violating labor laws." "Furthermore, he is part endangered butterfly, on his mother's side." "As we speak, he's looking for a workplace hazard to roll around in."
Alice: Our travel budget is shot. The Boss: We'll take money out of the training budget. Dilbert: We need training to support our new product. The Boss: We'll use the software budget for training. Asok: We need to do a mandatory software upgrade. Fine. Move some money from teh travel budget to the software budget. The Boss: Geez, you people do nothing but complain. Meanwhile I'm managing my brains out. Alice: I wondered what happened to them. The boss: Happened to what?