Leadership Skills Comic Strips - Page 14
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Dilbert says, "A competitor from the future is sending robots back in time to terminate our company." Dilbert says, "So far it's not much of an issue because their time travel technology is way ahead of their robot-building skills." Wally says, "Is that as fun as it looks?" Alice says, "Totally. They're like zombies, but crunchier."
Woman says, "This isn't what I wanted." Dilbert says, "I know." Dilbert says, "Your communication skill are so poor that I gave up trying to understand what you wanted and instead put some random numbers on a spreadsheet." Woman says, "Why didn't you just ask me to clarify?!" Dilbert says, "Apparently your listening skills need work too."
Boss: Who wants to see a picture of my new boat? Dilbert: That's a very good question. If we consider the fact that we work much harder than he does... Carol: And we have valuable engineering skills, whereas he can't operate the GPS in his SUV... and for some reason we don't get paid enough to buy impressive boats. Dilbert: And we have no nautical interests whatsoever. I think your best bet is people who don't know you. Man: And you are? Boss: This only works if we don't get too familiar.
Boss: Wally, have you done anything to address of your project with Ted's project? Wally: Yes, I've initiated discussions to create a framework that would allow us to adopt complementary architectures. Boss: So... nothing. Wally: When did we stop calling it leadership?
Alice: Steer clear of Darryl. He turned feral. Asok: Feral? Dilbert: That's what happens when engineers don't get invited to meetings. Alice: Darryl's only social life was meetings. Dilbert: He didn't get to use his social skills for a few weeks, and apparently he lost them. Asok: Is it like he turned into a wolfman? Dilbert: Yes, except he's better at math. And he howls at the Internet, not the moon. Asok: Can we watch? Man: How-ooo can you blog that?
Man: You're ignorant and ridiculous. I'm bored. Are we done here? Boss: You're hired. You must have awesome technical skills or else someone would have killed you by now. Boss: I can't tell if I'm a management genius or just lazy.
Boss: Can you word that more simply? I need to explain it to the executive leadership. Alice: Money be god. This make more. Oogah! Boss: That was uncalled for? Alice: I can replace the pie chart with a kitten.
Boss: Alice, I need your project status update by end of day. Alice: Ahleth, ah wan yer proja thatuth updah, fuh-fuh-fuh. I'm trying to improve my listening skills by repeating what people say.