Least Valuable Asset Comic Strips - Page 14
185 Results for Least Valuable Asset
View 131 - 140 results for least valuable asset comic strips. Discover the best "Least Valuable Asset" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share September 16, 2007's comic on:
Dilbert: "You didn't make any of the contract changes we agreed on last month." Ted: "That's how I negotiate." "I'm not authorized to make any changes to the contract." "And the executives who have that power will think I'm not doing my job if I ask them to do it." "So I agree to everything you ask, then I don't put any of it in the contract." "Over the course of several months I hope to wear you down and make you sign the contract as is." Dilbert: "Can you at least change section three the way I asked? Ted: "Sure. No problem." "I'll see you in a month."
Share November 11, 2007's comic on:
Tina: "Wally, can I get your comments on my article by tomorrow?" Wally: "Sure." Tina: "You say, 'sure,' but we both know it's a lie." "You just want me to go away." "You plan to wait until tomorrow and make an excuse." "Then you'll hope I'll give up." Wally: "Yes, but remember, my comments are always worthless, they would cause you extra work and worsen the result." "So if I give you nothing. Everyone wins." Tina: "In that case, thank you for ignoring my needs." Wally: "It's the least I could do."
Share March 04, 2008's comic on:
Catbert: Evil director of human resources Wally: I'd like to change my job title to something with 'architect' in it. My dream is to do less work while allegedly being more valuable. Catbert: The best I can do is 'code monkey. Wally: How about 'software simian'?"
Share April 17, 2008's comic on:
Alice: You let Dilbert have two flat screen monitors in his cubicle. Alice: I'm not the least bit envious, but I should point out that a worker with two monitors should be able to do twice as much work. Alice: Did you know there are some advantages to having only one monitor?
Share April 24, 2008's comic on:
The Boss says, "The company has decided to explore strategic alternatives." Dilbert says, "Is that another way to say the company is for sale and we'll all be fired by our new corporate overlords?" The Boss says, "What answer will spark the least employee vandalism?"
Share May 12, 2008's comic on:
Share December 16, 2008's comic on:
Dilbert: I worry that being assigned to work on the legacy systems will make me appear less valuable in the future. Catbert: You have my word that you could never appear less valuable than you are now. Gilbert: Why do your assurances make me feel worse? Catbert: Your new dress code is "troll."
Share February 12, 2009's comic on:
Dilbert says, "There's an opening in my old department is it okay if I apply?" Collections supervisor says, "Sure. I'd be happy to toss that dead cat In someone else's backyard." Dilbert says, "I was worried that I might be too valuable?" Collections supervisor says, "Why are you still here?"
Share February 17, 2009's comic on:
Finance trolls Finance troll says, "Your request for airline travel is denied. We don't have the budget for that." Finance troll says, "Company policy requires you to hitchhike with alleged killers and not offer to pay for gas." Dilbert says, "Well, at least things can't get worse." finance troll says, "Apparently you don't know what 'Alleged' means."
Share February 27, 2009's comic on:
The boss says, "Until the economy improves, we are instituting a mandatory week off every quarter." The boss says, "At least you'll have more time with your families." Ted says, Nooo!!! Not my family!!!" The boss says, "Problems at home?" Ted says, "May I please work without pay?"