Mean Comic Strips - Page 14
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333 Results for Mean
View 131 - 140 results for mean comic strips. Discover the best "Mean" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday May 06,
2004
Tags elbonia, call center, moved call centers, anyone will notice, disguised location
Transcript
The Boss: "We've moved our call centers to Elbonia but we don't think anyone will notice." Elbonia: "Hello, how may I help you? My name is Kruphnehdahpheweundikaniswalyniaphorganopop." "I mean...Carl."
Wednesday May 19,
2004
Monday June 21,
2004
Tags admire, performance over appearence, fist of death, mean, coworkers
Transcript
wally: "You know what I admire about you, Alice?" "You obviously value performance over appearance." Alice: "Thank you." "Wait... If that was a compliment, why is my fist of death tingling?"
Thursday July 15,
2004
Tags negotiating, opening offer, lots of better offers, ruining everything
Transcript
Negotiating My opening offer is... Dilbert: Thank you, thank you, than you, we accept your offer!! I haven t said an offer. Dilbert: I mean we have lots of other offers that are better. You're ruining everything.
Sunday August 22,
2004
Tags girlfriend, two probelms, looks, personlaity, extreme makeover, fascinated by new person, 9 good tsories, social liability, relationships
Transcript
Dilbert: why can't I find a girlfriend? DOgbert: you have two problems: your looks and your personality. Dilbert: Hmm,two itsn't bad. I can fix my looks by getting and extreme makeover. Dogbert: you'll still need to improve M.T.T.S.F. Dilbert: What? Dogbert: mean time to story failure: Its a measure of ho long you can be fascinating to a new person. Dogbert: Ive been counting and you only ave nine good stories after you use them up youre a social liability. Dilbert: I saw a horse kick a woodchuck over a fence. Dogbert: still only nine.
Sunday September 05,
2004
Tags product development, two thirds, Features, reduce scope, change request, stacks of paper, mean, unethical, passive agressive
Transcript
Dilbert: Our budget won't cover all of the product development. We can only do two thirds of the features for that amount. The Boss: reduce the scope of the project by one third. Dilbert: Okay. The boss: but theoretically.... Dilbert: No...dear lord, no. The boss: Id I later give you a change request to add one feature could you do it for the same budget. Dilbert One? sure. DATA GOES IN : MANAGEMENT COMES OUT. One sure changes are free, Carol: where do I put the change requests?
Friday November 05,
2004
Tags therapy, bossy, session, therapist mean, comments, insulting, Advice, hurtful, looks, date, psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: I have uncontrollable urges to show people better ways to do things. Do you think the real issue might be my insecurity? Therapist: Well, I wouldn't date you but thats mostly because of your looks. Dilbert: Not helping,
Friday December 31,
2004
Tags nothing to fear, reorganization, fear itself, dont think
Transcript
"This department has nothing to fear about the reorganization but fear itself." "Don't think about it... don't thik about it." "Okay, I'm pretty sure that that doesn't mean anything." "Dang." "Maybe less."
Friday January 28,
2005
Tags response to letter, apologize, admits error, starting war, mean spirit, hating minorities
Transcript
Carol: "Hey, I got a response from the newspaper columnist I reamed for misusing the word "dongle."" ""Dear Nutbag... Link to a dictionary..." Um... Oops... It appears that I was wrong." "Now do you apologize?" "Plan B: I accuse him of hating minorities."
Tuesday February 22,
2005
Tags small business, credit check, policy, deadbeat, imply, accepts acorns
Transcript
Dilbert: "I have to do a credit check on your company before we do any work. It's our policy." Small Businessman: "I resent that! Just because I'm a small businessman, that doesn't mean I'm a deadbeat!" Dilbert: "I didn't mean to imply..." Small businessman: "Do you know if the parking garage accepts acorns?"


