Meetings Comic Strips - Page 14
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Character
218 Results for Meetings
View 131 - 140 results for meetings comic strips. Discover the best "Meetings" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday March 11,
2012
Tags cloud, email, internet speak, lingo, meetings, pretending, text, understanding technology, wi fi, skype
Transcript
Boss: Did you get the email I texted to you? Co-worker: What? That doesn't even make sense. What the heck is wrong with you? Dilbert: Let it go. He slips in and out of understanding basic technology. Boss: Do we have enough room in the cloud for Skype? Because if we don't, we can store some files on the wi-fi. Dilbert: I got this. We have plenty of space because we upgraded to a cumulonimbus cloud. Boss: Very good. Moving on.
Wednesday April 04,
2012
Tags meetings, late for meeting, reschedule, 10 minutes, late
Transcript
Coworker: I'm sorry I'm a few minutes late for our 10:50 meeting. Wally: We'll have to reschedule because I have another meeting at eleven. Tina: Reschedule? I'm only ten minutes late! Wally: Tell that to my 11:10.
Tuesday April 10,
2012
Tags calendars, desk, meails, meetings, padtes, schdeules, secretary, coordinates
Transcript
Boss: I want you to work from home for two days per week to reduce our carbon footprint. Employee: Nooooo! My wife and three small children are in that house. They're always mean to me. Boss: How bad could it be? Employee: Let me put it this way: I'm sitting in an egg carton and talking to a moron, and this is better.
Sunday April 22,
2012
Tags being a jerk, big picture, breaking up tasks, emotionally gutted, engineer, engineers, individual tasks, losing will to live, meetings, personal life, project plan, rational plan, sense of purpose, engineering
Transcript
Boss: Any comments on the project plan? Dilbert: When you consider all of the tasks together, they form a rational plan. But our individual tasks are so far removed from the big picture that they are stripped of meaning. You've managed to remove all sense of purpose from my life. On an intellectual level, I understand the benefits of breaking tasks into small chunks. But you've left me emotionally gutted. As I read your plan, I'm losing my will to live. Boss: Can't you find meaning in your personal life? Tina: He's an engineer. Dilbert: Now you're just being a jerk.
Wednesday April 25,
2012
Tags barry, meeting, meetings, sharing info, vendors, business
Transcript
Dilbert: Let's hear what Barry learned from our vendors and go from there. Coworker: I didn't have time to call anyone, but I can speculate about what might have happened if I had. Dilbert: I'm curious to see how this will work out for you. Coworker: None of these vendors would have called me back.
Wednesday May 09,
2012
Tags absurd, assumptions, forecast, meetings, revenue forecst
Transcript
Coworker: And my revenue forecast says... Dilbert: Did you make any assumptions? Coworker: I made a lot of them. Dilbert: Then we don't believe your forecast. Coworker: Can I tell you about it anyway? Dilbert: Do whatever makes you feel less absurd.
Wednesday May 16,
2012
Tags meetings, attend presentation, authorized, poor notes, wasting time, right meeting
Transcript
Coworker: My boss asked me to attend your presentation on his behalf. I should warn you that I'm not authorized to make decisions, and I take poor notes. Dilbert: Okay. Let's begin wasting our time! Coworker: I"m not even sure I'm in the right meeting.
Friday May 25,
2012
Tags boredom, meetings, topic, insincere input, virtulaize, process, cloud
Transcript
Wally: I remember a time when I had to listen to the topic at hand before adding my insincere input. I think we should virtualize the process and move it to the cloud. Boss: Hey, that's a great idea! Wally: Now it's just all too easy.
Wednesday May 30,
2012
Tags meetings, 8am, meeting, useful work, insulting, good time management, overlap, business
Transcript
Coworker: Can you come to my meeting at 8am tomorrow? Dilbert: No. I reserve the first few hours of every morning for useful work. Coworker: That feels like an insult. Dilbert: I call it good time management. There's a lot of overlap.
Friday July 06,
2012
Tags boss, conference room, meetings, office dynamics, stimulate innovation, table
Transcript
Boss: What we need is an overarching strategy to stimulate our innovation. Dilbert: Or you could stop smothering the innovation we already have. Boss: That's the dumbest idea I've heard in my entire life. Dilbert: And there it is.

