Office Workers Comic Strips - Page 14

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View 131 - 140 results for office workers comic strips. Discover the best "Office Workers" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 1995's comic on:


Tags #greatest accomplishemnts, #big raise, #draft, #white paper, #impact of work, #owls, #losy woodland, #habitats

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Dogbert sits in Dilbert's office with a laptop balanced on his lap. He says to Dilbert, "Tell me your greatest accomplishments at work. I'll use that to hype you up with your boss so you get a big raise." Dilbert says, "I wrote a draft of a white paper on a strawman process to reengineer our product process." Dogbert asks, "And what was the impact of that work?" Dilbert answers, I think some owls lost their woodland habitats."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 1995's comic on:


Tags #mandatory training, #business ethics, #save money, #training, #decorate offcie, #taken training, #common sense

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The Boss asks Dilbert, "Have you taken the mandatory training for business ethics?" Dilbert answers, "No. But if you SAY I did then you'll save some money on training which you can spend to decorate your office." The Boss says, "Luckily, I haven't taken the training myself." Dilbert says, "I hear it's mostly common sense anyway."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 1995's comic on:


Tags #dysfunctional team, #admore, #vocalize admiration, #leathery skin, #right from left, #get paid, #admire co workers

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The Boss, Dogbert, Dilbert, Alice and Wally sit at a round table. Dogbert says, "I'd like everybody to turn to the right and say what you admire about that person." The Boss turns to Alice, who is on his left, and says, "I admire your leathery skin, Alice." Alice responds, "I admire your ability to figure out which side is your RIGHT in only two tries." Dilbert faces Dogbert on his right and says, "I admire your ability to get paid for this." Wally says to Dilbert, "Despite the fact your face scares children, I admire your co-workers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 1995's comic on:


Tags #three day workshop, #sahring, #form teams, #paper airplanes, #blindfolded, #flight, #unconditional love, #co workers, #accountants, #marketers, #secreatries, #competitive lion, #workload, #eraser pilot, #group hug

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An instructor stands at the front of a room and says, "Let's go around the circle and share what we learned in the three-day workshop." Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit together. Wally says, "At first I thought it was a waste of our training budget . . ." Wally says, "Then you asked us to form teams and make paper airplanes while blindfolded . . ." Wally turns to Dilbert and says, "I don't know if it was because of the darkness or the way we shared our thoughts about flight . . ." Wally says, "But suddenly I found unconditional love for my co-workers. Be they accountants, be they marketeers or be they secretaries." Wally stands on his chair and says, "As a result, I've become a competitive lion, eager to pounce on my workload and increase stockholder values!!" The instructor says, "Thank you, Wally. Dilbert, what did you learn?" Dilbert says, "I learned that you shouldn't put a little eraser-pilot in your paper airplane." Wally says, "Somebody needs a group hug."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 1995's comic on:


Tags #reengineered job, #more fulfilled, #value chain, #stages of prodcution, #fired secretaries, #credenza

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Dilbert is in the Boss's office. The Boss says, "Great news! I've reengineered your job to make you more fulfilled!" The Boss continues, "You'll no longer be limited to one little part of the value chain. You'll be involved in all stages of production!" Dilbert covers his eyes and says, "Oh Lord, you fired all the secretaries!!" The Boss orders, "Dust my credenza."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 1995's comic on:


Tags #standardize, #one type computer, #mac user, #deviant users, #macintosh, #unix, #holy wars, #gustav

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Ratbert, the Boss and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Ratbert says, "I recommend standardizing on one type of computer for the office." Ratbert continues, "We must identify and eliminate the deviant users of Macintosh, Unix and . . . God help us . . . OS/2 Warp." Dilbert glares at him. The caption reads, "The Holy Wars Begin." Ratbert interrogates a man being held by police. Ratbert says, "Don't lie to me, Gustav! You're a stinkin' Mac user!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 1995's comic on:


Tags #mister catbert, #diversity, #the worse, #german accent, #Wally, #computer issues

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Wally is in Catbert's office. Wally says, "Mister Catbert, the company is trying to force me to use a different kind of computer." Wally continues, "You're the Human Resources Director. What are you doing to stop this religious persecution??! What ever happened to 'diversity??'" Catbert responds, "The longer you verk here, diverse it gets . . . Next."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 1995's comic on:


Tags #over worked, #engineer, #more work, #too many projects, #success impossible, #same result, #honk honk, #inventory, #office building, #engineering

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The Boss, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss hands Alice a paper and says, "Take care of this, Alice." Alice says, "'Take care of this'? This would double my workload." Alice says, "I've already got so many projects that I can't do anything useful with any of them." Alive continues, "But if success is impossible then . . . I'm . . free . ." Alice laughs and shouts, "Free! Free!" Alice sings, "The result will be the same no matter what I do! Yes yes yes." Alice grabs the Boss's hair and says, "Honk honk!" The Boss says, "Moving along . . . We need to inventory our office equipment." Dilbert says, "Sounds like a job for Alice."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 1995's comic on:


Tags #benchmark, #world class companies, #compare, #verbs, #nouns, #assign, #engineers, #field research, #pointy haired idioits

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The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, I want you to benchmark these world-class companies. Find out how we compare." Alice responds, "I'm betting they don't make verbs out of nouns. And I'll bet they don't assign engineers to do field research." Alice talks on the phone in her office. She asks, "Do you guys have any pointy-haired idiots running your place? . . . Would you like one?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 1995's comic on:


Tags #bob in procurement, #approved equipment list, #approved list, #more work, #alleged test, #philosophy, #bob the dinosaur

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Wally is in Bob the Dinosaur's office. Bob says, "I'm afraid the equipment you want is not on the approved equipment list." Bob continues, "Let me think . . . if I add this to the approved list, that's more work for ME . . . but if I say no, it's more work for YOU . . . hmm . . . think, think . . ." Wally says, "I'd like to see this alleged list." Bob replies, "Well, it's not so much a physical list as it is a philosophy."