Only One Comic Strips - Page 14
1000 Results for Only One
View 131 - 140 results for only one comic strips. Discover the best "Only One" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share April 20, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, I know it's only our first date, but what do you think of me?" The woman replies, "You remind me of Elvis." Dilbert thinks, "Sexy." The woman thinks, "Dead."
Share April 24, 1991's comic on:
A television reporter holds a microphone and says, "I'm standing at the Wickford wheat fields outside of London, the site of mysterious giant circles, possibly caused by aliens." The reporter asks a man with a backpack, "How do you find these circles of crushed wheat?" The man answers, "My team of experts starts at one point and searches outward until . . ." The man looks behind him where a circle of people tramples the wheat field. He cries, "Good Lord! Another circle has formed around us!!"
Share April 28, 1991's comic on:
Dogbert walks along the sidewalk humming. Dogbert meets a man in a robe and slippers followed by two men in suits. Dogbert says, "Good morning, Mister Rich Person!" The man replies, "Good morning." One of the men behind him says, "I don't know about 'good.'" The other says, "Depends." Dogbert asks, "Have you been hurt by the slumping economy?" The wealthy man replies, "I've had to make some bold cost-cutting moves." The man behind him says, "I don't know about 'bold.'" The other man says, "Questionable." The rich man says, "I used to surround myself with yes-men . . . Now, all I can afford are these maybe-men." One of the maybe-men asks, "Did you know that the back of your head looks like an acorn squash?" The rich man says, "It takes some getting used to."
Share May 05, 1991's comic on:
The caption says, "First date." Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant looking at menus. Dilbert asks the waiter, "How much is the half chicken?" The waiter replies, "Ninety-six dollars." Dilbert looks at the menu and thinks, "Uh-oh . . . I can't afford this place." Dilbert asks, "How much is one-eighth of a chicken?" The waiter replies, "Ninety-two dollars." Dilbert asks, "What can I get for thirty bucks?" The waiter replies, "We could slap you with an oven mitten." The woman says, "I can't believe what a cheap-skate you are." The woman continues, "My mother was right: all men are insensitive!" Dilbert hands the menu to the waiter and says, "Two oven mittens." The waiter says to the woman, "So, it looks like you'll be free later . . ."
Share May 09, 1991's comic on:
Dogbert hands a tie to Ratbert and says, "Ratbert, I want you to eat one of Dilbert's ties. Maybe it will help solve the mystery of why they always curl up." Ratbert eats the tie and says, "Mmm . . . Delicious, but starchy . . . One of the more full-bodied accessories I've tasted . . ." Dogbert carries Ratbert by the tail. Ratbert, whose body has stiffened, says, "Oil . . . can . . ." Dogbert says, "Geez . . . And that was only the placebo necktie."
Share May 10, 1991's comic on:
Dogbert asks the garbage man, "Mister Garbage Man, do you know why Dilbert's neckties curl up?" The garbage man answers, "It could be a Tanzanian necktie snake in one of its clever disguises." The garbage man grasps his throat and continues, "They'll stalk you for years, then suddenly - ACK!!" Dogbert looks shocked.
Share May 11, 1991's comic on:
Dogbert sits on a trashcan and says to the garbage man, "Maybe I'll never solve the mystery of why Dilbert's neckties curl up." The garbage man says, "Sometimes, Dogbert, life presents us with mysteries to fuel our sense of wonder . . . It stimulates us to reach beyond ourselves to something greater." Dogbert asks, "This isn't one of those times, is it?" The garbage man says, "Apparently not."
Share May 13, 1991's comic on:
Ratbert walks along thinking, "I should go visit my old friend, Dogbert." Ratbert thinks, "I can get there in five days if I hurry." Ratbert walks through a maze in a lab. He thinks, "Lucky he's only a block away."
Share May 22, 1991's comic on:
Dogbert: Come meet my new pet turtle. Dilbert: Boy, that is one ugly-looking turtle. What kind is it? Dogbert: He's a, "snappy comeback turtle," but not a good one. Turtle: Oh yeah?!! Ugly, am I? Well, uh... so's my mother.
Share May 26, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert stands in front of a room of people. He says, "Welcome to Dogbert's 'School of Hard Knocks.'" Dogbert says, "This is the school you've heard so much about." Dogbert continues, "Chances are, one of your parents is a graduate of this school." Dogbert continues, "At Dogbert's School of Hard Knocks, you will gain the wisdom that can only be obtained through suffering." Dogbert opens a box and continues, "Throughout the course, I'll be whacking you with various blunt objects." Dogbert continues, "It may be unpleasant at first, but you'll get used to it." Dogbert continues, "Eventually, your brain will rationalize the whole experience. You'll think I'm a dedicated teacher, and you'll actually believe you learned something." Dogbert shakes a stick and says, "Stick with the basics, I say."