Overpaid And Useless Comic Strips - Page 14

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137 Results for Overpaid And Useless

View 131 - 137 results for overpaid and useless comic strips. Discover the best "Overpaid And Useless" comics from Dilbert.com.

Bad Attitude

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Bad Attitude - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #complaining, #employees, #obliviousness, #attitude

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Catbert: I need to talk to you about your bad attitude. Dilbert: I'm surrounded by useless idiots, and I work in a fabric-covered box. How can I have a good attitude? Catbert: Oh, good. I was hoping it would be something I couldn't fix.

Business Agility Influencer

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Business Agility Influencer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #business, #agility, #solution, #meaningless, #useless

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ted: hi, i'm a business agility influencer and solutionist wally: i don't think that means anything ted: why are you the first person to spot that? wally: because i'm useless too!

Searching On A Phone

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Searching On A Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #communication, #phone, #protocol, #task, #rude, #technology, #insult, #fake

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tina: i have something funny to show you. just give me a minute to find it on my phone. dilbert thinking: what's the protocol in this situation? should i just sit here and stare at her pawing at her phone? i can't talk because she's focused on her task. and it would be rude to walk away. would it be an insult to look at my own phone and mentally check out from this useless interaction? tina: ah! i found it! dilbert: okay, good. tina: wait, that's not the right one. dilbert: is this why people fake their own deaths?

Wally Stopped Trying

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Wally Stopped Trying - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #useless, #trying, #incompetence, #co-workers, #pay, #work

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wally: this week i didn't do any work because there is no point in trying. in the unlikely event i did something useful, it would be ruined by the massive incompetence of my co-workers. boss: i pay you to act as if you are trying. wally: oh, in that case, i worked hard this week.

Asok Is Overpaid

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Asok Is Overpaid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #project, #technology, #time, #pay, #argue, #math, #face mask, #salary

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asok: i finished my project in half the projected time. boss: that means i'm paying you twice as much as you deserve. asok: i don't think it means that at all. boss: you look dumb arguing with math.

Lazy People Are Efficient

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Lazy People Are Efficient - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #efficient, #projects, #lazy, #assignments, #useful

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wally: they say the laziest employees are the best because they know how to be efficient. i don't think i get enough credit for all of my efficiency. boss: efficiency only matters if you are doing something useful. wally: you're the one who gives me my assignments. boss: i don't ask you to do anything useful because you are too lazy. wally: are the useful projects generally harder that the useless ones? boss: yes. wally: then i'd say the system is working.

Taking Time Off

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Taking Time Off - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #video call, #vacation, #paid time off, #critical, #essential, #system, #migration, #kidding, #success, #zoom, #call, #valuable, #asset, #engagement

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boss and dilbert on video call. dilbert: is it okay if i take next week off? boss: are you kidding? we're in the most critical month of the system migration. you're essential to our succcess. all hands must be on deck. dilbert: really? it seems as if all i do is listen to other people say useless stuff on zoom calls. boss: my goodness, no! employees are our most valuable asset! we can't succeed unless we have 100% employee engagement. dilbert: i took all of last week off for vacation, and no one noticed. boss: next time, start with that.