Reading Zero Comic Strips - Page 14

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243 Results for Reading Zero

View 131 - 140 results for reading zero comic strips. Discover the best "Reading Zero" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 2000's comic on:


Tags #questions, #ever alone, #with people

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Dilbert, pointing to a diagram, asks, "Are there any questions?" Three co-workers sit at a table looking stupefied. There is a paper airplane and a cup that's been knocked over spilling some liquid on the table. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Do you ever feel alone when you're with people?" Dogbert, reading and not looking up, says, "I try to."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 2000's comic on:


Tags #free for lunch, #remind myself, #lucky, #laziness, #personality, #looks, #renaissance loser, #psychology

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Wally is reading the newspaper as Dilbert looks in Wally's cubicle and asks, "Wally, are you free for lunch?" Dilbert says to Wally, "I need to remind myself how lucky I am that I don't have your laziness or personality or looks." Wally asks Dilbert, "Would you say I'm kind of a Renaissance loser?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 2000's comic on:


Tags #advice?, #collect crcystals, #ctcystals can heal, #scientific evidence, #point of view, #ignorant, #dinner date, #spoiled

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Dilbert asks Catbert, "Any advice?" Catbert says, "Try to be less like you." Dilbert, carrying a bunch of flowers, thinks, "That might work." Dilbert hands the flowers to a female co-worker and thinks, "Less like me... Less like me." The female co-worker says to Dilbert, "I collect crystals." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." The female co-worker says, "I don't know of any scientific evidence that they can heal." Dilbert thinks, "Whew." The female co-worker says to Dilbert, "But it's my point of view that they do." Dilbert says to the female co-worker, "When did ignorance become a point of view?" Seated in a restaurant reading a menu, Dilbert sits across from the frowning female co-worker and thinks, "Too much like me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 2001's comic on:


Tags #sould, #claim ticket, #demoted, #non-management, #cubicle

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At a window marked 'Souls', a devil is standing behind the counter. Alice hands him a claim check and says, "I'd like my soul back. Here's my claim ticket." The devil, reading the claim ticket, says, "You've been demoted back to non-management. Very well." Outside Alice's cubicle, a little cloud hovers. Alice points into the cubicle and says to the cloud, "Get back in the cubicle." The cloud, which is Alice's soul, cries, "No-o-o-o!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 2001's comic on:


Tags #work indoors, #rain, #can't control weather, #roof guy

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Dilbert sits in a chair reading the paper. A worker approaches him and says, "I got the roof off. I'll be back next week to finish." Dilbert follows him to the door and says, "What if it rains?" The worker replies, "Then I'll work indoors." Dilbert follows him to his truck. He says, "But my house will be ruined." The worker says, "I can't control the weather."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 2001's comic on:


Tags #accounting system, #dysfunctional, #meaningless, #payroll exppenses, #zero, #management genius

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Asok and Ed are sitting at a computer. Ed looks irritated. Asok says, "Your accounting system is so dysfunctional that the results are meaningless." Asok continues, "How is it possible that no one has noticed?" Ed replies, "I've always wondered about that." The Boss is sitting at his desk. He thinks to himself, "My payroll expenses are zero again. I'm a management genius."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 2001's comic on:


Tags #negotiated contract, #six weeks, #double delivery time, #devious weasel, #simply incompetent

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Dilbert is reading a contract while meeting with a business associate. Dilbert says, "We've negotiated this contract for six weeks and today you double your delivery time?" Dilbert continues, "I can't tell if you're an incredibly devious weasel or simply incompetent." The business associate begins to pull on his own nose and says, "Here's a clue." The business associate pulls of his nose to reveal a weasel's nose underneath. It makes the sound, "poink."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 2001's comic on:


Tags #job market, #getting worse, #employees afraid, #power to abuse, #grows stronger, #evil dance, #killing me

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The Boss is reading a newspaper. Catbert is standing on his desk. The Boss says, "The job market is getting worse every day!" Catbert replies, "Excellent!" The Boss chuckles and says, "Employees will be afraid. Our power to abuse them grows stronger by the minute!" Catbert grins widely. Catbert grins and dances. The Boss laughs and exclaims, "Ha ha! Stop doing the 'Evil Dance!' You're killing me!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 2001's comic on:


Tags #talk about layoffs, #hostile questions, #reading, #newspapaer, #reeking slime

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Catbert is standing on The Boss' desk. Catbert says, "We need to have an all- company meeting to talk about the layoffs." Catbert continues, "You might get some hostile questions owing to the fact that they found out about the layoffs by reading the newspaper." The Boss stands at a podium. He says, "No, I've never noticed that I leave a trail of reeking slime wherever I slither."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 2001's comic on:


Tags #end war, #sell it, #sign for a dollar, #petition to end war

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Dilbert is home reading a newspaper. Ratbert says, "I'm starting a petition to end war. Do you want in on this?" Dilbert asks, "Who are you going to give it to?" Ratbert responds, "Say what?" Ratbert says, "I was hoping to sell it." Dilbert responds, "I'll sign it for a dollar."