Real Bother Comic Strips - Page 14

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

220 Results for Real Bother

View 131 - 140 results for real bother comic strips. Discover the best "Real Bother" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #presentation, #fall asleep, #dream, #animal snout, #nose job, #reality, #tease, #mouth open, #scared, #wiggle fingers, #annoyed, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "I must have fallen asleep during your presentation. I dreamed I had an animal snout for a nose. It seemed so real." Dilbert says, "If you can't tell your dreams from your reality, maybe this is your dream and you really do have a snout." Dilbert says, "Does anything seem strange or out of place in this reality?" Wally says, "Can we please do some work?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #invention, #gadget, #sink attaches to body, #faucet on head, #running water, #work, #annoyed, #hearing, #yell

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I invented a sink that attaches to my body. The faucet is activated by your voice." The Boss says, "Wally, what possible use could this stupid thing have? I need you to do some real work." Wally says, "What? I can't hear you when the water is running!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #favor, #excuse, #integration manager, #director of sustainability, #real, #matrix management, #neo

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker says, "Wally, would you??" Wally says, "No. I'm doing something important for the brand integration manager." Coworker says, "Maybe after that you could?" Wally says, "Then I'm doing a rush job for the director of sustainability." Coworker says, "Are those even real people?" Wally says, "Welcome to Matrix management, Neo."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #matrix management, #neo, #earbuds, #ipod, #computer, #powerpoint, #die, #scared, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "This is where you jack into matrix management, Neo." Wally says, "Insert these iPod ear buds and fire up PowerPoint. The reality you once knew is gone." Wally says, "One more thing: If your computer dies during powerpoint, your career dies in the real world."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #test, #product, #fail, #fake, #data

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "We added a new performance test, but learned that the test itself is flawed." The Boss says, "Now our product fails our own tests and our customers are asking to see the test results." Dilbert says, "Do I have permission to fake the test data?" The Boss says, "I didn't even know data can be real."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marketing, #meeting, #big mouth, #open, #stupid, #product, #guess, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "Our marketing campaign depends on a word of mouth. Unfortunately, our product is bad." Man says, "So we found a guy with poor judgment and a huge mouth to say good things." Man 2 says, "Present." Dilbert says, "Marketing isn't a real thing, is it?" Man says, "It's mostly guessing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer, #work, #progress, #software, #annoyed, #grit teeth, #drink coffee, #inspiration, #machine, #technology, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Wally, have you made any progress coding your module?" Wally says, "Progress is difficult to measure in the software realm." Wally says, "You could measure the lines of code I produce, but that would reward inefficiency." Wally says, "The art of this job is binding the rare moments of inspiration to knowledge and machines." Wally says, "In fact, just a minute ago I could feel the inspiration welling up inside me." Wally says, "But then you interrupted me with your naive question and the moment was lost." Wally says, "Maybe you should go back to your office and reflect on the damage you've done here today." Wally thinks, "There goes the one person who has less of a real job than I do."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #consult, #customer data, #money, #privacy, #real name, #wag tail

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert Consults Dogbert says, "Your customer data is worth a fortune." Dogbert says, "I'll find you some buyers if you give me 25%." CEO says, "What about privacy?" Dogbert says, "That's not a problem. I never use my real name."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #slide show, #test, #waste of time, #arms out, #angry, #cranky, #data, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I'd like to thank all of the people who helped design the technology test parameters." Dilbert says, "Thanks to your input, the test had nothing in common with how things work in the real world." Dilbert says, "So I wasted two weeks of my life on a test that is not only meaningless..." Dilbert says, "...But alos dangerously misleading." Dilbert says, "This slide shows the gap between the test results and reality." The Boss says, "We'll use the test results anyway because it's the only data we have." Dilbert says, "Fine. I hope you all choke to death on your lunches." The Boss says, "Why's he so cranky?" Wally says, "Something about data."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #define values, #emotional illsuion, #common to children, #idiots, #non engineers, #cult

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Who can define 'values'? Anyone?" Dilbert says, "Values are a type of emotional illusion common to children, idiots and non-engineers." The Boss says, "Can we pretend values are real?" Dilbert says, "Are we a cult now?"