Relations Between The Sexes Comic Strips - Page 14

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174 Results for Relations Between The Sexes

View 131 - 140 results for relations between the sexes comic strips. Discover the best "Relations Between The Sexes" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lying, optimism, projections, realistic, optimistic, near death, hallucination, luci dream

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Boss: Are your projections realistic or optimistic? Dilbert: They're halfway between a lucid dream and a near-death hallucination. Boss: I'll call them "most likely."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computers & peripherals, gadgets, intergenerational relations, grandpa box, phones, tablets, laptop, text the 90s

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Asok: Are you getting a lot done on the grandpa box? Dilbert: The what? Asok: The people in my generation do our work on our phones and tablets. Dilbert: I also have a laptop. Asok: I'll text the nineties and let them know.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, public realtions firm, persuade media, negative stores, competitor, ethical, public relations form, defaming company, defame

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Boss: I hired the Dogbert public relations firm. His job is to persuade the media to write negative stories about our competitor. Dilbert: Is that ethical? Dogbert: I assure you that your competitor is doing the same thing to you. They're paying a public relations firm a fortune to steer the media toward defaming your company. Dilbert: Who did they hire to defame us. Dogbert: Probably someone awesome.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cruelty, deception, trust and stupidity, demonstrates question, difference

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Asok: Wally, is there any difference between trust and stupidity? Wally: Hold that thought. I'll be right back. Asok: Oh.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags being freightened, creepy vibe, leadership, obsolete, public speaking, sense of urgency, thread the needle, tech platforms

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Dogbert: You need to imbue your staff with a sense of urgency. Boss: Gaaa!!! Our technology platforms are obsolete! Dogbert: Try it again with less panic. Boss: We're doomed, and yet, I am not the least bit worried. Dogbert: That one had a creepy vibe. A sense of urgency is halfway between being too frightened to act and too dumb to know what to do. Boss: Gaaa!!! Duh!!! Dogbert: You didn't quite thread the needle. Boss: Here comes leadership!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags correlations, predicted outcomes, problem, enormous ceo compensation, myth, control over profits, awkward, trap door, ceo trick, violent

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Dilbert: I did a study of our past business plans and found something. There's no correlation between our predicted and actual outcomes. That might be a problem for you. Your enormous CEO compensation is based on the myth that you have some control over our profitability. CEO: Ha! Dilbert: Ha! CEO: Is it just me or is this awkward? Dilbert: No, I'm feeling it too.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags inventions, quantum computer, prototype, success, in between state

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Boss: How's your quantum computer prototype coming along? Wally: Great! The project exists in a simultaneous state of being both totally successful and not even started. Boss: Can I observe it? Wally: That's a tricky question.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stock market, no raise, accomplished nothing, invest in penny stocks, hot stock tips, narrowed the gap, money

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Boss: Wally, I can't give you a raise because you accomplished nothing this year. Wally: That's okay because I make a fortune investing in penny stocks. Do you want some hot stock tips? Dilbert: Did you get a raise. Wally: No, but I narrowed the gap between his income and mine.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags happiness, work ethic, workplace happiness, direct deposit, mental distance, effort, paycheck, no clear goal, doing good work, job satisafaction, stress related problems, highly demotivated, psychology

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Asok: Wally, what is the key to workplace happiness? Wally: Well, Asok, it all starts with direct deposit. You want to keep some mental distance between your effort and your paycheck. Next, you want to work on projects that have no clear goals or deadlines. Coworker: Hey, Wally, can you... Wally: No, I'm too busy doing various things. Asok: What about the satisfaction of doing good work? Wally: Job satisfaction is what people feel right before they die from stress-related problems. Asok: I feel highly demotivated right now. Wally: You are very welcome.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags honesty, relations between the sexes, collaborate, sexism, water down, interpretation

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Boss: Alice, I want you to collaborate with Larry. Alice: And by collaborate you mean water down my brilliance with this dullard's brain flatulence. Boss: She doesn't play well with others. Alice: If I were a man, you'd call it confidence.