Secret Offshore Bank Comic Strips - Page 14

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

160 Results for Secret Offshore Bank

View 131 - 140 results for secret offshore bank comic strips. Discover the best "Secret Offshore Bank" comics from Dilbert.com.

Fifty Tips For Success

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Fifty Tips For Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #career advice, #obliviousness, #secret, #success, #tech millionaire

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: A 27-year-old tech millionaire published his list of fifty things you need to do to succeed. Dilbert: In other words, he has no idea why he succeeded. Asok: Sure he does. He even has a chart of his top thirty... priorities. Okay, I hear it now.

Dilbert's App Stops Cyber Attack

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert's App Stops Cyber Attack - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #hacker, #hacking, #cyber attack, #government secret, #advancement, #app

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm loaning you to the government to help stop the worst cyber attack our country has seen. Dilbert: I wrote an app for that. Okay... done. Are we good? G-Man: It's a gray area. I might need to kill you and steal the app.

Dogbert Advises Dilbert On Escaping

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Advises Dilbert On Escaping - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #identity, #hacker, #hacking, #government, #manhunt, #technology, #money, #ruse, #trick, #greed, #betrayal

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The government threatened to kill me if I don't sell them my anti-hacker app. Dogbert: You should change your identity, give me everything you own, and move to an undisclosed location. Dilbert: Will we have a secret way to stay in contact? Dogbert: You're becoming a burden.

Hire Smarter People

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hire Smarter People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #leadership, #success, #insult, #power, #compliment, #backhanded compliment, #ego, #humility, #humble

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The secret to my success is that I hire people who are smarter than me. And then I tell those smart people exactly what to do. It keeps you humble. Dilbert: Good, because all of this was starting to go to my head.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #character, #behavior, #role model, #mentor, #secret, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Character is how you act when no one is watching. Wally: Now you tell us? I thought you were my role model! Now I learn that you do all of your good stuff when no one is looking. It all makes sense now, because whenever I watch you do anything, it looks sort of dumb. But I'll take your word for it that you're awesome when no one is looking. Do you want to know what I do when no one is looking? CEO: I really, really do not. Wally: I call it character!

Haircut Illuminati

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Haircut Illuminati - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #secret society, #organizations, #illuminati, #hair, #hairstyles, #haircut, #barber, #Politics, #politicians, #success

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I became a member of the Hairdresser Illuminati. Dilbert: The what? Dogbert: It's a shadowy organization that controls the world by manipulating the hairstyles of political candidates. Boss: What is my barber doing here? Dogbert: That haircut will never become your next president.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #credit, #motivation, #obliviousness, #hiring, #logic, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The secret to success is hiring the right people. Dilbert: Then why doesn't everyone do that? Boss: It takes a lot of skill to hire the right people. Dilbert: Did you just find a way to take all of the credit for the team's success? And did you do it in a clever way that was intended to make you look humble even while hogging all the credit? Boss: I also motivate you. Dilbert: You're money?

Hairdresser Illuminati

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Hairdresser Illuminati - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hair, #haircut, #hairstyles, #success, #Politics, #candidates, #secret organization, #secret society, #control

View Transcript

Transcript

The Hairdresser Illuminati. Dogbert: Before we start, I'll need to see a list of your political views. Hoo-boy, this is some crazy stuff. I have just the right hairstyle for this. There. That should keep you out of The White House.

Closer To Being A Terrorist

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Closer To Being A Terrorist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Religion, #logic, #terrorism, #terrorist, #radicalization, #extremism, #fbi, #interrogation

View Transcript

Transcript

FBI Secret Facility. Asok: I am a nonviolent Hindu. You use violence as a tool, and your religion is centered around one of Islam's prophets. So... technically, you're closer to being a radical Islamic terrorist than I am. Agent: I hate engineers.

Being The Best

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Being The Best - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #failure, #guest artist, #motivation, #pep talk, #success, #john glynn

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The secret to success is finding one thing at which you can be the best. Dilbert: What are you the best at? CEO: I'm the best at motivating people. Dilbert: Yay! I can't wait for that to start.