Stock Buy Back Comic Strips - Page 14

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View 131 - 140 results for stock buy back comic strips. Discover the best "Stock Buy Back" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #stock market, #miserable, #fortune, #law of found money, #chance, #Win, #intuition, #guide, #color, #monitor, #gray 9

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Dilbert says to the garbage man, "I've been miserable since I made my fortune in the stock market . . ." The garbage man replies, "It's the 'Law of Found Money.' Nature won't allow us to keep money we find on the ground or win by chance. Don't resist; let your intuition guide you." Dilbert stands in a computer retail store writing a check. He asks the salesclerk, "This comes with a color monitor, right?" The salesperson stands in front of a supercomputer labeled, "Gray 9. Only $10,000,000."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #math, #talk, #doing, #circle, #pi, #jillion

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I spent my entire fortune to buy this supercomputer." Dogbert asks, "What does it do?" Dilbert replies, "It can calculate the value of pi to about a jillion decimal places . . ." Dilbert continues, "A lot of people TALK about the areas of circles, but I'm DOING something about it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #orders, #camp, #girl, #cookies, #daughter, #dozen, #buying, #ted, #money, #character, #earning, #selling, #work

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Ted stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "I'm taking orders for 'Camp Girl cookies' on behalf of my daughter." Ted asks, "How many dozen can I guilt you into buying?" Dilbert says, "I've always wondered, Ted, why do they sell cookies? Is it just for the money?" Ted replies, "No, it's to help them build character by earning their own money." Dilbert asks, "Oh, so your daughter is doing some selling from door-to-door?" Ted answers, "No, too dangerous. My wife and I are doing all the selling at work." Dilbert says, "Well, then aren't you only teaching your daughter to act helpless so other people will do her work?" Ted says angrily, "Just buy the stupid cookies!!" Dilbert asks, "Have you considered foster care for your kids?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #meeting, #agenda, #specific, #emotional, #statements, #work

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Dilbert, Ted and a woman sit at a conference table. Ted says, "Thank you all for coming. There's no specific agenda for this meeting . . ." Ted continues, "As usual, we'll just make unrelated emotional statements about things which bother us. I'll kick it off . . ." Ted throws his head back and yells, "There's never time to get any work done around here!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #vegetarians, #march, #capitol, #protest, #killing, #animals, #mile, #drive, #letters, #revolution, #people, #only, #plastic, #wooden, #shoes, #avoid, #Dilbert

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Dogbert stands on a ladder and addresses a crowd. Dogbert says, "Vegetarians, we must march to the capitol to protest the killing of animals!" A man in the audience says, "That's a mile away." Another man asks, "Can we drive instead?" A woman asks, "Or maybe write letters?" Back at home, Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "Never lead a revolution of people who only own plastic and wooden shoes." Dilbert replies, "I try to avoid it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #head, #Dogbert, #spin, #yergi, #elbonia, #elbonians, #visiting, #economy, #earns, #doctor, #year, #pair, #shoes, #philanthropist, #offered, #root, #buy, #man's, #dignity, #Kids, #meat

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Dilbert sits at his desk. He hears, "Ha ha! Now spin on your head! Ha ha ha!" Dilbert walks into the room and sees an Elbonian standing on his head. He asks Dogbert, "What's going on here?" Dogbert replies, "This is Yergi. He's visiting from Elbonia." Dogbert explains, "The economy in Elbonia is so bad he only earns three dollars a month as a doctor." Dogbert continues, "It takes a year to earn enough for a pair of shoes . . . It takes TWO years for a pound of meat." Dogbert continues, "Philanthropist that I am, I offered to give him an old boot if he would act like my trained monkey for a week." Dilbert scolds, "Dogbert! I can't believe you would buy this man's dignity for an old boot!" Yergi says, "I plan to tell the kids it's a pound of meat." Dogbert says, "Quiet, Bobo."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #deep, #sleep, #hypnosis, #Draw, #aliens, #abducted, #e.t., #bag, #packed, #Dilbert

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Dogbert sits on a chair and Dilbert lies on a couch. Dogbert says, "You are in a deep sleep . . . Now, while under hypnosis you can draw the aliens who abducted you." Dogbert whispers, "Hint: they all look exactly like 'E.T.'" No longer hypnotized, Dilbert looks at a drawing and says, "Wow! I drew that??" Dogbert says, "They usually come back for you. Better keep a bag packed."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #the boss, #management, #expert, #decide, #demanding

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Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "So, you're a time management expert huh? Might be useful . . . I'll let you know . . ." Dogbert screams, "Decide now! Do it! Do it, do it! Now now now now!" The Boss says, "You're good . . . When can you start?" Dogbert replies, "I'll get back to you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #natural, #mental, #peaks, #knowledge, #improve, #performance, #hourly, #temperature, #readings, #identify, #avoid

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Dogbert sits in a chair across from a man. Dogbert says, "Every person has natural daily rhythms of mental peaks and troughs. We can use this knowledge to improve your performance." Dogbert hands the man a thermometer and continues, "We use hourly body temperature readings to identify and avoid the troughs." As the man leans back in his chair and waves his arms, Dogbert writes, "One o'clock. We have encountered a severe trough. I fear it could be the dreaded 'El Nino' trough."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ratbert, #laboratory, #lab, #scientist, #changing, #tic-tac

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A man in a lab coat hands Ratbert something that looks like a pill and says, "Just take one, Ratbert." Ratbert rolls back and forth on the lab bench and yells, "Aaargh!! I'm changing! I'm changing!" The scientist says, "It wasn't funny the first hundred times I gave you a Tic-Tac either." Ratbert says, "Let's try it again!"