Taking Notes Comic Strips - Page 14

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165 Results for Taking Notes

View 131 - 140 results for taking notes comic strips. Discover the best "Taking Notes" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #conversation, #dumb people, #ignorance (knowledge), #project taking long

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Boss: Why is your project taking longer than expected? Dilbert: It's only taking longer than dumb people expected. Boss: Still, that's a lot of people. Dilbert: What can I say to make this conversation end?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #choosing, #stress, #vacations, #unlimited vacation days, #torpedo career, #source of stress, #set up, #manipulate

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert: We're jumping on the fad of giving employees unlimited vacation days. The only gating factor will be the knowledge that taking any time off whatsoever will torpedo your career. Alice: So... now our vacations will be a source of stress? Catbert: Only as much as you want. It's totally up to you.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stress, #humans irrational, #comment, #hater, #hater forver, #taking personal

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Dilbert: My stress is way down since I discovered that all humans are irrational. Tina: Clearly that comment is directed at me. Now I hate you forever! Dilbert: Da-dee da-dum.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustration, #vacations, #work harder, #no vacation, #boss, #time off, #employee

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Dilbert: Can I take my vacation next week? Boss: Fine. Just work twice as hard this week to get everything done before you leave. Dilbert: In that case, I prefer not taking a vacation at all. Boss: It's starting to look as if nothing can make you happy.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #died years ago, #exoskeleton project, #inventions, #obliviousness, #taking bones

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Boss: This is Barry. He has been working on our exoskeleton project for five years. Dilbert: Evidently Barry died years ago, and his exoskeleton keeps taking his bones to meetings. Boss: In my defense, that is only obvious after you say it.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #insult, #insulting, #insults, #obliviousness, #robot, #filling in, #vacation, #soul less creature, #questionable intelligence

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Boss: Our robot will be sitting in for me while I'm on vacation. I hope you can get used to taking orders from a soulless creature of questionable intelligence. Wally: I think I can do that. Boss: That's the spirit!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #buy things, #deception, #evil, #evil tool, #images, #lab notes, #marketing, #obliviousness, #presentation, #screen, #unique sequence, #business

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Dilbert: I discovered a unique sequence of sights and sounds that makes people buy things they don't need. I recommend that we destroy all of my lab notes and rid the world of this evil tool. CEO: You never told him what marketing is? Boss: He didn't need to know.

Financial Advisor Is Surprised At How Easy It Is

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Financial Advisor Is Surprised At How Easy It Is - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #financial advisor, #investing, #money, #stock market, #swindling, #convertible notes, #preferred stock, #call options, #career ambition, #ginat mosquito

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Financial Advisor. Advisor: Convertible notes... preferred stock... municipal bonds... covered call options. These are things you can never hope to understand. So trust me and try to forget that my only career ambition is to drain your account like a giant mosquito. Boss: That sounds reasonable. Advisor: I'm always surprised at how easy this is.

Showering In Tube Clothes

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Showering In Tube Clothes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clothes, #clothing, #efficiency, #engineers, #laundry, #nerd, #tube clothes, #shower, #shower drain

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Dilbert: I discovered that I can wear my tube clothing in the shower! It's like doing laundry and taking a shower at the same time! I can add one more efficiency, but I'd need to replumb the shower drain. Tina: Please stop talking!!!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #arguing, #job, #job description, #managers, #manipulation, #taking advantage, #task, #whiney quitter, #resourceful entrepreneur, #personal growth, #outside the box, #key to greatness, #assigning wrong people, #mow lawn, #business

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Dilbert: That isn't in my job description. Boss: What?! You should never tell your boss that a task isn't in your job description! It makes you sound like a whiney quitter instead of a resourceful entrepreneur. And don't forget all the personal growth that comes from taking on new challenges. Think outside the box. That is the key to greatness. Dilbert: So, according to you, the best way to achieve greatness is by assigning the wrong people to tasks? Are there any other dumb things I need to do to achieve greatness or is one thing enough? Catbert: Did you find someone to mow your lawn yet? Boss: Almost. He's putting up a fight.