Wrong Comic Strips - Page 14
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347 Results for Wrong
View 131 - 140 results for wrong comic strips. Discover the best "Wrong" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday November 13,
2005
Tags patent application, 3 emails, rude, insulting, condescending, back plane, gizmo
Transcript
"Remember to include my name on the patent application." "Why? You didn't help." "That's ridiculous! I've been helping you design that thing for months!" "I saved all three of your e-mails. Allow me to read them." "'Dude, is something wrong with your brain?'" "Later: 'Hey, Dilweed, maybe you should replace the backplane with a gizmo.'" "Then my personal favorite: 'Dilbag, I'm glad you took my advice to leave the backplane alone.'" "That's my way of helping." "It's great. You should patent it."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday November 20,
2005
Tags scarf retrun, salesman, computer, 1000 returns, compulsive, company policy, harvest organs, sell ebay, dilmom, technology
Transcript
"I'd like to return this scarf." "What's wrong with it?" "It isn't um...scarfy enough." "I'll just run your card through the computer and..." "Uh-oh...You're on our Bad Customer list. You've returned over a thousand items to this store." "In fact, you've purchased and returned this same scarf seventeen times." "Company policy says that I have to harvest your organs and sell them on eBay." "It was good while it lasted."
Monday December 05,
2005
Tags cross charging, freshly brewed coffee, tempting pasteries, time to project, meeting, wrong meeting, mis placed, business
Transcript
Um...Why are you here? "Originally I was seduced by the smell of your freshly brewed coffee and tempting pastries." "But now I'm all about cross-charging my time to your project."
Sunday December 18,
2005
Tags buy insurance, whole life umbrella rider, read list, acts of god, wrong god, lighting strike
Transcript
"I'd like to buy some insurance, but I don't know much about it." "You need my special indemnity casualty whole life umbrella rider binder." "What does it cover?" "I can't answer that directly?" "Just read that list of exclusions. Anything not in there is covered." "Does it cover acts of God?" "Yes, unless you pray to the wrong one." "How do I know if it's the wrong god?" "If you buy this insurance, and lightning doesn't strike me, try another god."
Thursday January 19,
2006
Saturday February 04,
2006
Sunday February 05,
2006
Transcript
"Hi, handsome. Are you free for lunch?" "Are you selling something, or do you have a horrible defect that isn't apparent?" "Is it so hard to believe that a hot, intelligent, sane woman would be attracted to a man like you?" "Gaaa!!! It's worse than I thought!" "Maybe we could just drink coffee and talk about the last episode of Battlestar Galactica." "GAAA!!!" "Get away from me, you perfect monster!" "There must be a guy in the engineering department who will date me." "Hi." "What's wrong with you?"
Sunday February 26,
2006
Transcript
"Why is your project months behind?" "I still don't have the user's requirements because she's a complete nut job." "It's your job to manage that process!" "I complained to her boss, who promptly misinterpreted the problem and ordered her to work on the wrong stuff." "Then every member of her family got a serious illness. Then she got called to jury duty." "She promised to give me the requirements this afternoon." "It was too hard to come up with my own requirements, so I just copied the requirements from another product." "Is the other product similar to what you want?" "Where are you going with this?"
Saturday March 04,
2006
Tags wise king salmon, fish are stupid, project, right or wrong
Transcript
"We could do the project right for $100,000 or do it wrong for $25,000." "I believe that the wise King Salmon would say to split the difference and do it for $50,000." "Fish are stupid."
Sunday March 05,
2006
Tags hard drive, too much smut, film clips, poor lighting, move to external, server, disabled firewall
Transcript
"Alice, my laptop is slowing down. Can you take a look at it?" "Here's the problem. There's too much smut on your hard drive." "I recommend deleting the film clips that have poor lighting." "And here's a whole category that you haven't looked at in weeks." "I'll move those to an external drive in case you need 'em later." "Wally has all this stuff on the server. You don't need it on your laptop." "What the...? You pinhead! You disabled your firewall!" "If you work here long enough, your outrage ends up in all of the wrong places." "Who moved my stapler?!!"


