Being Smart Comic Strips - Page 14

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

651 Results for Being Smart

View 131 - 140 results for being smart comic strips. Discover the best "Being Smart" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Builds An Mvp Version

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Builds An Mvp Version - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ai, #technology, #fake, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I built a minimum viable product, or MVP, as I like to call it. Boss: That's a block of wood. Wally: I call it "Artificial Intelligence." Ask it any question. Boss: What is my middle name? Wally: It's being shy, just like people. Boss: It has emotions,too?

Smart People Are On Both Sides

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Smart People Are On Both Sides - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Politics, #intelligence, #appearances, #perspective

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Have you ever noticed that there are smart people on both sides of every political issue? Boss: Maybe it only seems that way to you because you're not one of the smart ones. Dilbert: Do I seem smart? Wally: I didn't realize you were trying.

Wally's Lateness Excuse

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Lateness Excuse - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #excuse, #lying

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why are you two hours late for work? Wally: Your wife didn't want to bother you, so she called me and asked if I would go to your house and see if she left her curling iron plugged in. Do you believe me, or do you want to risk being the first person she calls next time. Boss: Well played.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management, #honesty, #competition, #criticism

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why are our competitors beating us on the benchmark speed tests? Do they have better engineers? Dilbert: No, they have better management. Their management probably got them the budget they needed to do the job right. I"m guessing they were helpful, instead of being useless, blamecasting time-wasters. I hear you can do a lot when you have good management. I'll probably try to get a job with a competitor. They sound great. It is also possible they lied about their benchmark results. Boss: You should have said that first!

Being More Honest

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Being More Honest - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marketing, #advertising, #honesty, #cover-up, #performance, #shortcoming, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My tests show we underperform our competition on nine out of eleven dimensions. Boss: Give the two good ones to Marketing. We can't be more honest than that. Dilbert: I'm almost certain we can. Boss: No, we really can't.

Wally Has Passon For No Goals

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Has Passon For No Goals - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #goals, #achievement, #laziness, #work ethic, #catch-22, #guest artist, #donna oatney

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: You told us we need to set goals and have passion. But what if my passion is to avoid having measurable goals? Boss: You're passionate about being useless? Wally: Hey, back off, dream-killer.

Simplify The Slide

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Simplify The Slide - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intelligence, #insult, #smart, #dumb, #powerpoint, #guest artist, #joel friday

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You need to simplify that slide. Dilbert: Did you understand it? Boss: Yes. Dilbert: Then why do you think smart people will be confused? Boss: I can't tell if that was an insult. Dilbert: Ask a smart person.

Boss Is Victim Of Identity Thief

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Is Victim Of Identity Thief - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #identity theft, #impostor, #insult, #investment, #money, #stealing, #guest artist, #josh shipley

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: An identity thief stole my identity and opened a brokerage account. Dilbert: How did they know he was an impostor? Did he make a smart investment? Boss: That isn't funny. Wally: Did the impostor have a sense of humor?

Asok Meets His Equal

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Meets His Equal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accuse, #label, #racist, #sexist, #negotiation, #clever, #outsmart, #money, #salary

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I love being the best negotiator in the entire department. Alice: You're not. Asok: Are you being racist? Alice: Are you being sexist? Asok: I have met my equal. Alice: Tell your equal I said hi when you pull your head out of it.

Asok Is The Only Good Negotiator

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Is The Only Good Negotiator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accuse, #eric scott, #haggle, #lable, #money, #negotiating, #negotiation, #racism, #racist, #raise, #guest artist

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Did you both negotiate huge raises with our boss the way I did? Dilbert and Wally: No. Dilbert: Apparently, you're the only good negotiator in the department. Asok: Are you being racist? Dilbert: I will give you $1,000 to never say that about me again.