Ceo Comic Strips - Page 14

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

627 Results for Ceo

View 131 - 140 results for ceo comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Is Picked As Company Mascot`

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Is Picked As Company Mascot` - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags posture, mascot, success, hunchback, work ethic, reward

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Management has selected Dilbert to be our new company mascot. His bad posture speaks volumes about his hard work and long hours. Dilbert: Ow! CEO: Did you ever dream you would be so successful? Dilbert: This is exactly how I dreamed it.

Unexpected Things Happen

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Unexpected Things Happen - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deadline, project, schedule, excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: What's the latest on the software release date? Wally: We're right on time for the pre-alpha launch, unless we run into something unexpected. CEO: How often does that happen? Wally: Whenever I need it.

Engineer Touches Spreadsheet

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Engineer Touches Spreadsheet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags numbers, budget, obliviousness, approval, disease, contagious, managers, executives, accuracy, fantasy

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I approve this project based on your boss' spreadsheet calculations. His calculations must be accurate because an engineer handed them to me. Is that all you need? Dilbert: I need a hug, but I don't want to catch whatever caused all of this.

Wearing Gloves To Handle Spreadsheet

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wearing Gloves To Handle Spreadsheet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags numbers, math, blame, messenger, education

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My boss asked me to show you some numbers he put together. CEO: Why are you wearing gloves? Dilbert: I'm afraid to get it on my hands.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags change, fear, power, executives, decision, threat, hypocrisy

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: You must learn to embrace change. Dilbert: Can we change anything we want to change? CEO: No. You don't get to say what the changes are. I do that. Alice: Will that situation ever change? CEO: No. Alice: Why not? You said change is good. CEO: Change is good. For other people. So embrace it or I'll fire you. Employees: We love change!!!

Robot Learns To Procreate

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Learns To Procreate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags robot, mind control, thinking, life, creation, conscience, sentience, manipulation

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: I figured out how to procreate. Boss: I don't like the sound of this. Robot: I infected you with an idea virus that tells you to build more robots. Boss: Won't work. CEO: Does anyone have an idea for increasing efficiency in our manufacturing process?

Death By Emoji

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Death By Emoji - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags emoji, communication, miscommunication, murder, crime, deception, engineers, work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I tried to use emoji characters and accidentally ordered two of my engineers to kill Ted. They say they did it. CEO: Did the engineers complain about being too busy to do it? Boss: No. Oh, I see it now. CEO: Total hoax.

Employees Keep Agreeing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Employees Keep Agreeing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags furniture, office, arrangement, laziness, loophole, efficiency, management, work ethic, excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I told the employees about our plan to boost productivity by changing the floor layout. Now they claim they can't get their work done because the current floor plan is inefficient. Hoe do I get them to stop agreeing with me? CEO: What do you usually do?

Stress Typo On Website

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Stress Typo On Website - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags health, wellness, corporate policy, stress, medical leave, laziness, loophole, typo, mistake, work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: How many employees did you say took paid medical leave? Catbert: All of them. A typo on our wellness website listed stress as an illness instead of a cause of illness. CEO: Is it too late to backpedal on the wellness thing? Catbert: I'll just fix the typo. It's all good.

It Takes More Than Luck

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
It Takes More Than Luck - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags success, intelligence, privilege, nepotism, obliviousness, confusion

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Asok, it takes more than luck to be successful. You also have to be smart. Asok: How did you select your level of intelligence before birth? CEO: I don't understand the question. Asok: Now I am getting mixed messages.