Change Comic Strips - Page 14

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255 Results for Change

View 131 - 140 results for change comic strips. Discover the best "Change" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #transformational change, #feel different, #nauseas felling, #going to hurl, #change feels like

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The Boss: Our differentiating value-added strategy is transformational change. "How was that? Does anyone feel different?" Alice: "My urge to hurl was increased a little bit." The Boss: "That's what change feels like."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #socially obvious, #social defect., #change topic

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Dogbert: welcome to dogcarts school for the socially oblivious. Today I'll pair with someone whose social defect will cancel out your own, woman: GAAA!! I keep trying to tap about my l=kids and you keep changing the topic to your self! Because Im fascinating.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #product development, #two thirds, #Features, #reduce scope, #change request, #stacks of paper, #mean, #unethical, #passive agressive

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Dilbert: Our budget won't cover all of the product development. We can only do two thirds of the features for that amount. The Boss: reduce the scope of the project by one third. Dilbert: Okay. The boss: but theoretically.... Dilbert: No...dear lord, no. The boss: Id I later give you a change request to add one feature could you do it for the same budget. Dilbert One? sure. DATA GOES IN : MANAGEMENT COMES OUT. One sure changes are free, Carol: where do I put the change requests?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tech support, #another company, #determine cause

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"This is Dogbert's tech support. Your problem is caused by another company's product or services." "Shouldnt I tell you my problem before you determine the cause?" "Okay, let's pretend that will change my answer."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stale dna, #ceo, #medical

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The Boss: Our CEO says he wants to change the DNA of this company. Catbert: whats that mean? The Boss: I don't know, It sounds medical. Im frightened. The boos: Hold me. Catbert: Keep your stale DNA away from me.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #televison show, #doctor dogbert, #lazy, #immoral, #fat morons

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"I plan to start my own television talk show." "I'll change my name to 'Doctor Dogbert' so people think I'm qualified to call them lazy, immoral fat morons." "You already call people those names." "Yeah, but I want them to thank me for it."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #aspect manager, #morale, #effective, #genius, #change of leadership

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The Boss: "I've been named the aspect manager of moral. Effective today, you no longer report to me." Yippeeee! Woo hooo! Yes! CEO: "How did you improve the morale so quickly?" The Boss: "I'm a genius?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #illusions of progress, #companys name, #hi tech sounding, #onomatopeoia, #duhflushtech, #lack of awareness

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Dogbert: "You need to change the company's name to create the illusion of progress." "The name should be hi-tech sounding with a hint of onomatopoeia that signals your total lack of awareness." "Maybe something like 'Duhflushtech, inc.'" "I like it!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #downsized, #gag gifts, #goodby lunch, #not retired, #tuesday, #party, #gifts, #mean soirited, #office party

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CaroL; "I scheduled your goodbye lunch for Tuesday." Alice: "I can't make it on Tuesday." Carol: "It's too late to change it. Everyone already bought your gag gifts." Alice: "Gag gifts?? I'm not retiring; I got downsized!" Asok: "Congratulations, Alice! Hee-hee!!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Wally, #downsized candidate, #alice glad, #boss thanks wally, #ride to church, #on good side

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alice: "Wally, I'm glad we work in the same department." "Because your performance is so bad that you'll be downsized first." "You're like a buffer. As long as you're still here, my job is safe." "And there's nothing you can do to change the situation." The Boss: "Wally, do you mind giving my family a ride to church again this week?" Wally: "No problem." The Boss: "It's nice that you joined my church even though you live an hour away." "And I wouldn't say no to those tasty bagels you always bring for the ride." Alice: "GAAA!!!" The Boss: "Oh... I didn't see you sneak up on me, Heathen.. I mean Alice."