Company For Sale Comic Strips - Page 14

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917 Results for Company For Sale

View 131 - 140 results for company for sale comic strips. Discover the best "Company For Sale" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dogbert Talks Past The Sale

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Dogbert Talks Past The Sale - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #manipulation, #negotiating, #negotiation, #psychology, #guest artist, #josh shipley

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Dogbert: Do you want to prepare and serve my favorite food to me now or in one minute? Dilbert: Why do you always that manipulative trick of making me think past the sale? Dogbert: Because it works? Dilbert: One minute! Not a second sooner!

Catbert Will Not Help Children

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Catbert Will Not Help Children - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reasoning, #judgment, #company policy, #rules, #regulations, #rigid, #stringent, #inflexible

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Dilbert: Can you give me Carol's home address? I agreed to watch her kids and she turned off her phone for her date night. Catbert: It is against company policy for me to use my good judgment to save children. Dilbert: Are you sure it says that? Catbert: Yes. I wrote it myself.

Dilbert Is Picked As Company Mascot`

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Dilbert Is Picked As Company Mascot` - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #posture, #mascot, #success, #hunchback, #work ethic, #reward

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CEO: Management has selected Dilbert to be our new company mascot. His bad posture speaks volumes about his hard work and long hours. Dilbert: Ow! CEO: Did you ever dream you would be so successful? Dilbert: This is exactly how I dreamed it.

New Company Mascot

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New Company Mascot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hunchback, #posture, #transformation, #health, #body

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Catbert: I hear you're undergoing an identity transition. Dilbert: No, I just have bad posture from looking at a screen all day. I'm not literally turning into Quasimodo. Catbert: That's too bad, because we need a new mascot for the company and you would be perfect.

That's Motivation Not Stalking

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That's Motivation Not Stalking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #compliment, #managers, #jargon, #sincerity, #insincere, #motivation, #motivate, #annoyance, #frustration

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Boss: Alice, you're doing a great job and the company values you. Alice: Your insincere management babble is making me uncomfortable. Boss: That's motivation you're feeling. Alice: I'm getting more of a stalker vibe.

The Generic Graph

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The Generic Graph - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #money, #cost, #saving, #chart, #graph, #penny pinching, #thrift, #frugality

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Boss: The sales estimate looks like this. Alice: That looks like a chart you showed us yesterday about our travel budget. Boss: The company is standardizing on this one chart.

Dilbert Aligns His Goals

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Dilbert Aligns His Goals - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work, #happiness, #balance, #job, #contentment, #goal, #opposition, #oppose, #business, #psychology

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Dilbert: I'm concerned that my personal goals do not align with our corporate strategy. For example, I would like to be happy. What does the company want? Boss: Well, nothing along those lines.

Value Of A Start Up Idea

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Value Of A Start Up Idea - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ideas, #money, #start-up, #business, #worth, #value

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Boss: I have a great idea for a start-up company. All I need is a seed investor and an engineer to do all the work. Alice: I believe the economic term for what you have is "nothing."

Low Battery On Brain Stimulator

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Low Battery On Brain Stimulator  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boredom, #invention, #planning, #party, #picnic, #details, #cups

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Dilbert: I'm wearing a brain stimulator so I don't die of boredom while organizing the company picnic. Carol: Speaking of that, what kind of cups should I order? Do you want red or clear? And what sizes? How many? Is this a bad time? Device: Low battery.

Dilbert Regulates Mood With Stimulator

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Dilbert Regulates Mood With Stimulator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #motivation, #stimulation, #priorities, #assignments, #deadline, #invention, #mood, #picnic, #social anxiety

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Dilbert: I invented a way to regulate my mood with an external brain stimulator. Boss: You're supposed to be organizing the company picnic. Dilbert: Did you serious expect me to do that without an external brain stimulator?